my ideal girlfriend (must read for all females) LOL

hello fattiesanyways im going to write a description of what the perfect female would be for me. okay so firstly the girl has to have a moustache, a nice long thick one filled with termites, ants and you know the odd ferret or two, second she has to have purple hair, alright purple hair, yummy, she also has to wear glasses and not the ugly fashion glasses, but the circle harry potter, im a faggot, glasses. okay now about her personality, um i dont really care about her personality as long as shes retarded and silly like me, okay cool so if any of you ladies fufill two or more of the critera, give me a buzz and we can engage in some hot, intense, passionategames of dotaLOLS!!!! lots of sexy gay love to you guys BYEE

BIRTHDAYS!!!111ONEONEONE

birthdays
isnt it just interesting when people alert everyone of their up and coming birthday, like 10 days till my birthday or wateva. like they want you to remember, if people liked you enough shouldnt they remember your birthday and as if you would be selfish enough to post your own birthday, some people even complain if you havent done enough for their birthday, like,, why didnt you remember? or why didnt you get me anything?
a) my family forgot my birthday , why should i remember yours
b) ive only known you for a week and i met you at a party
c) who the fuck cares, your day of greatest importance is the day your mother suffered the most pain to get your sorry ass out of that tiny opening, well not so tiny anymore , haha im so gay
anyways birthdays are very important and it is important to remmeber them, nevertheless they are a tad overated.

public school teachers

teachers are interesting individuals as when they begin their career teaching us delightful individuals they are full of enthusiasm and strength, sadly after years of abuse and laziness their ability to teach students decreases and we are left with a montonous, obese person who has no life, the majority of teachers ive known are like this, when they start off, even if a student is a complete failure they will do all they can to help him/her, however, if that student cbf learning regardless of how much help the students gonna get it, hes not gonna improve. at the end of the year the teacher is distraught and CBF helping children, because no matter how hard they try they will inevitably fail. this is the harsh reality for teachers
hahaha na, this is just my opinion on "some" teachers" not all, many of them are pretty cool and inspirational :)

superstitious?

superstitious?
well today at approximately 5:45 we were supposed to be sucked into a black hole due to scientists tampering with things they shouldnt be, this has caused alot of speculation and debate but i dont know what it is and i only said speculation and debate to sound intelligent when really i dont know what i was about. something about imitating the big bang theory and the funny thing is big bang's a korean band, haa
well i made a list of some of the things i wanted to do and was about to when i realised im not superstitious, like you u superficial hoe
1. rape something (im serious u dont know how anyone will act if they only had a couple of hours to live, its called anarchy) haha jokes i wouldnt rape anything i am luckily bounded by morals :)
2. tell everyone im grateful for them being a part of my life
3. do a bit of parkour, ill just jump from house to house ,sounds fun
4. go to flinders street krispe kreme and eat everything
5. tell the person i lovee, sorry, for mistreating them
6. drink scotch and smoke a cigar and pose for a photo whilst the world behind me is in total destruction (i.e. , raping, beastiality, pornography, pedophilia, homosexuality, adultery,)bahaa, u love me
7. buy some clothes, haha no
8. have a family dinner , a really special important one
9. um talk to a girl about something
10. play a game of chess, soccer, volleyball, dota