camp

i love camp

the food is delicious, the activities are great, the wildlife is soothing,

but apart from that, camp is an opportunity to see the true nature of your friends

because camp is one of the closest situations we as teenagers have to a "difficult" situation

camp essentially is a test which differentiates between the strong and the weak

and being "strong" isnt necessarily defined through physical prowess, its a mental game as well.

there are times at camp when you get so exhausted, you feel like giving up, you feel like chucking away your pack and burying your head in the dirt.

yet you have to go on, you must go on.

now, theres an old saying that the true personalities of people come out in tough, difficult and undesirable situations

you can see how some of your closest friends will react when basically they're stripped of their comfortability, happiness and to a certain degree sanity

cos during camp, when people are very fatigued, they're more likely to say brash or unreasonable things,

things that they wouldnt otherwise say when your both dandy

so how does this tie in with relationships, well basically you have to test your friends or your lovers through taking them on a camp or going camping

you can put yourselves both in an undesirable situation and you can see how each other reacts and if your partner doesn't act accordingly and you see a hidden, "weak" side,

then you might wanna contemplate a change.

knowing the limits and the mental stability of your friends and lovers is vital in the sustainability of your relationships with them.

some people are just naturally quitters and when they are faced with the heat of battle, they melt away

these people, no matter how endearing they are during times of peace, they are just not worth your time and effort.

they'll be the first to back out on you when your life turns to shit.

and believe me, no mater how much dick you've sucked (metaphorically and physically) or how fat your daddy's wallet is

you will eventually reach that minimum point and getting through that trough is much easier if you have some close, trustworthy and loyal friends by your side

in addition, during the camping phase, when your partner is having trouble, you can also help them out which would just make you look like an awesome guy,

forging and honing relationships through physical exertion is one that is not likely forgotten,

the emotions associated with those events remain strongly embedded in your psyche, the stress, the pain, the feeling of elation when you and your friends have finally crossed that metaphorical hill.

why do you think sports teams and soldiers generally remain cohesive even after they retire?

and you know what the amazing thing is

after you get through it all, you feel a sense of fulfillment unmatched by even a plethora of a+ sacs

even if your partner fails dismally just the fact that you made it through should provide you with some solace, it is after a reflection of your own strength, your perseverance, your ability to make the best out of a negative situation

and if your female partner makes it through,

then maybe you've found yourself a keeper

or maybe you should prepare for a lifetime of inadequacy, domination, emasculation and awkward looks from your children's friends when they see you roaming around the kitchen draped in a where's wally apron.

however, this method only works if your relatively "fit"

so for you mhs guys, dont even attempt it

you'll just end up making a fool out of yoself !

what are humans good at?

what are humans good at

i mean what are we really exceptional at

what's something that aliens from space can look at us and be like

damn, we do not want to fuck with them

actually humans arent good at that many things

it all boils down to three things

we humans are amazing at

1. sex

2. war (killing)

3. producing and consuming food

1. sex

humans fuck alot, we fuck so much that our planet cannot cope with it

its the reason why china has the one child policy and the reasons why contraceptives are so widespread

all we do is fuck and fuck and fuck and fuck and fuck and as we speak, there are probably tons of people depositing their semen into a hole

not only that, normal sex isnt good enough for us

we have to dabble in a bit of anal sex, maybe fisting, maybe beastiality,

oh no, having sex with other humans isnt good enough for us, we have to attempt to fuck inanimate objects, and cartoon characters

do you know how big the prostitution industry is.

do you know how much black market sex there is.

human trafficking for the sole purpose of sex is consistently increasing

no wonder why prostitution is deemed as the oldest profession, its also recession proof !

i think its clear to say, humans like sex and more importantly, as a species, as a collective, we're good at it

2. war

most countries place a huge portion of their GDP towards the maintenance, creation and purchase of weapons

if you look at history, all humans ever do is fight

even with barriers like religion and so called morals, when it gets down into the nitty gritty

humans fight and there pretty good at it too

and now with modern technology, its pretty easy to fight

we no longer have to go around waving swords and hope it lands on someones head

we can just drop a bomb, hope for the best

and justify it as "oh, sorry about that guys, we were hoping to stop communism, oh what, millions of people died? haha communism is so stupid, capitalism ftw"

3. food

humans are a variant of cancer, all we ever do is consume

and if we're not consuming, we devise methods to make whatver it is that we're eating. be more edible

its the reason why stupid shows like "master chef" are so appealing

goddamn, does anyone really watch that show

i know the ending to every masterchef show, some guy makes a slightly innovative food, the judges congratulate him, flashback to some traumatic moment of that person's past, the guy is so moved and starts to cry. fin

mate its just food, you didnt discover the cure for cancer, wipe your tears and stop embarrassing yourself on national tv

ANYWHOO

do you know what every country is good at doing

and thats making yummy food

the Thais may not have a massive economy like america but they sure make a killer pad thai !

same goes for mexicans and pretty much everyone else

in fact, if every person experienced the cuisine of every country in the world, pretty sure racism would decline significantly

so there we go guys, if you feel like your not good at anything

then try your hand at one of those things,

fuck someone, fight someone or feed someone

i guarantee, that you'd be formidable in at least one of them

staring at girls with big boobs

hey fwends

as per usual, i was standing on the train waiting to get to school

just a standard day, nothing too interesting to look at

except the girl with massive breasticles in front of me

im sure you guys are all aware of the risks we take to gaze upon such unique lumps of fats and i was no exception

yet boobs have a tendency to make everything awkward

it was a back and forth process of glancing at her tits, then looking away

then looking at her tits again and then when we make eye contact, quickly looking at the roof pretending to be in deep thoughts, humming the pokemon theme song

it was onerous as fuck

i actually wish i wasn't attracted to boobs, i mean ive seen like at least a million pairs online and my own pair offline, shouldnt i be desensitized to them?

but sadly no, there is just something about them,

they're inherently intriguing and even after thousands of years of evolution, poetry, intelligence and civilisation

it still amazes me that we males continue to be consistently attracted to a feature that serves practically no sexual purpose

but you know what does serve a purpose, the comment question of the day

haha ray wiliam Johnson you fucking faggot

also, id like to clarify some shit

men arent attracted to mammary glands in their natural state,

they're not that amazing when unhinged and naked before our eyes

boobs are most appealing when its comfortably positioned by the bra with only particular segments of it being showcased

sometimes the parts are more important than the whole

as for the 5 billion asian girls that dont have boobs

take solace in the fact that personality is something that can be observed

lol.

girls are such hyppocrites

what are girls?

why are they shooo mean

anyways.

in the 21st century, there are a myriad of laws and codes that guide us to identify desirable behaviour

now a more recent one, is discrimination based on gender

now dont get me wrong, im pro-feminist,

im so feminist that i dont open doors for girls and i beat women up :)

now there lies the root of the problem

if we lived in a truly equal society

men would find it mentally acceptable to hit a girl as hard as they hit guys

however if a guy does do that, girls shriek "girl-basher, violence against women the earth says no"

the thing is women want all these rights, they want the right to be sexually promiscuous without having the fear of being branded a slut,

they want to be promoted as much as men,

they want to have sex when they feel like it rather then giving it away to sustain the relationship

yet girls also want guys to treat them like a queen,

girls want to be protected

they want guys to buy them flowers, pay for dinners, open doors and blah blah

now a gentlemen buying a girl is flowers is indeed chivalrous yet it is also a sign that he is a product of a deeply, subtly sexist society that seeks to further oppress women.

the line between chivalry and sexism is very very blurred

why does the girl need flowers? why does the guy need to buy her dinner?

do guys buy other guys dinners?

ill give you a scenario

if a stranger hit your brother

and a stranger hit your sister

would you be more angry that the stranger hit your sister or your brother?

so this basically translates to feminism equaling the death of chivalry

the more feminists get rights, the less men would treat them like girls

as girls would get more promiscuous, the less men have to work to have them as being a sluzzball mc fat fat is more socially acceptable

as a result, the price for pussy has decreased as they have been practically flooded into the market

men no longer need to work for pussy, they dont have to open doors, buy flowers or take you out for dinner

because they dont need to

if vaginas were a stock, it would be worthless because there is too much of a surplus for it,

it would plummet and lose value which ironically

would then result in the objectification of women and a greater suppression of womans rights

as men would perceive chicks as more material objects then people

because thats what sex does, it devalues people, it temporarily turns them into an object of pleasure,

thus leading women to be objects, feminist behaviour and then all freaking over again

do you see where this is going?

it is a vicious cycle

the circle.... THE CIRCLE OF LIFE

INSDINFIASNDFASNDF BALA

but to be honest, this society of deeply ingrained covert sexism works, it appeals to everyone,

men and women are progressively becoming equal in many aspects which is a very good thing

but as long as men and women retain these attitudes in regards to love and etiquette,

true sexism would never be eradicated as it is just too confusing

overall, men and women will never be equal because there are men and there are women

the way you dress

just casually waiting for my train, i see a girl dressed like a hoe standing next to me

therefore shes a hoe right?

wrongggg

shes not a hoe

however, to the untrained eye, judging by her appearance, the deep mascara, the skirt you could pass off as a belt and the thin alluring lips that scream 'i want penis' , she looks pretty freaking willing.

guys, i cannot stress the importance of being able to develop the skill to extract a chick's personality purely by the way she dresses

and its pretty freaking hard

especially in the 21st century, with rampant materialism and sluts being a generally accepted species in society,

i understand your pain

because people make assumptions based on how one dresses, one's dress can either command authority/respect E.G. police uniform, suits

OR

spell low socio-economic status and general faggotry e.g. nike airforces, trackies, country road bags

so how does this tie in with hoes

if you look like a sluzball, then prepare to be treated like one

prepare to get flattered,

prepare to get complimented and prepare the inevitable penis that would slide down ur slit

and also

prepare for the walk of shame back home, prepare to waking up by yourself in the morning,

prepare for a drizzle of liquid down your face that your damn sure is not just "morning drool"

however, if a girl dresses like a hoe and is not actually a hoe

guys, you have to understand that this girl is probably one who has low self esteem, probably lonely, wants a lover, wants attention and etc.

you have to act in an appropriate manner

because thats how some people justify rape

in addition

there are subtle discrepancies between fake hoes and real hoes,

but alas, i cant tell the difference either

name change

hey guys, so i changed the name of my blog and some of you may be wondering why

i chose the name "mind candy" because this blog is more than just a vehicle to express my ramblings, insecurities, thoughts and opinions, its a device created in order to enrich, revitalize and reassess your own perceptions of life and events.
ive likened it to like candy or lollies for the mind because i attempt to give (not thrust) you ideas written in a facetious format that is both appealing and yummy to myself and my audience
think of it like the city newspaper, the MX, its not supposed to bombard you with statistics but more light-hearted satire and/or black humour

Moreover, some people have been critical for the writing style i have adopted,
the way i dont use punctuation and how its not structured properly
i have utilized this style as it represents the archetypal "mind"
the mind is not logical nor is it coherent, it is usually a huge blob of emotions and feelings intertwined together just floating around in a humming space that is our psyche

as for the extra "d" and the extra "y"
some vagina faces had already chosen those links.

anyways, guys spread the word because ive been looking at the world economy, demand and supply and the one thing we are severely in need of is recognition, recognition for ME
so spread the gospel, tell it the masses because my need for attention, my narcissism, requires it.

true loves

do you guys believe in "true love?"

do you guys believe that out there in this world, there is one man or woman destined to be with you

a person so perfect that she/he would satisfy every physical, emotional, financial, need

well i do

but i reckon more along the line that there are true loves

okay but how do we quantify something like this

after about 30 seconds of rigorous thinking, i tallied the results and this is what i got.

firstly to find your love if you are a boy and you are not gay

you get rid of all the males in this world

thats like 3 billion people left (thank sexism for that)

then u get rid of all the chicks u dont find attractive ethnically speaking

that leaves like several hundreds of million people

then you get rid of all the people in this world you will never have the chance of meeting because this world is just too massive

then lets say i get rid of all the girls that are below a certain height requirement sooo anyone below 165-170 cm

then out of that group i get rid of all the dumb people

omg guys, do you realise that university is basically a modern interpretation of natural selection

yay maybe ill find a girl that is both smart and purdy

anyways that leaves like several tens of thousands

then out of those, pick all the people that have personalities that your personality finds desirable

that leaves like,,, 20 to maybe 50 girls, ideals in this world

so there we go, depending on your personality, there is an average of 20 to 50 girls that would be best suited for you

and the thing is, we dont know who they are

we dont know what they look like or how they will come to us

so in order to find them, i emphasize the importance of timing

if u meet the ideal girl but u meet her in an awkward situation

then ull never be with her

e.g. if u meet her when u have to take a shit and ur waiting for the bus

and some hot girl smiles at you whilst ur attempting to not embarrass yourself in public

in any other scenario when u may have approach the aforementioned girl, u may have got her number, and fallen in love

however, since ur priorities were focused on ur bowel movements u couldnt

then bam a chance is gone

thats why peeps if you think uve met one of ur ideals, one of ur true loves,

however, slim the chance may be, then stick to it and keep her close

i guess thats why so many people cheat but then again that is also contingent on timing

e.g. you meet a girl whilst you and your girlfriend are having a fight

anyways whats saddening is that in a rapidly growing world, although our chance of meeting anyone grows, the probability of meeting our ideals continues to shrink.

i like bikes

hey guys

i had a pretty weird experience today

i was on the train ride back from school with some friends when a bicycle propped up on one of the support thingymabobs fell over

and naturally since its a packed train, it starts to make things awfully uncomfortable as it crashes into nearby ovaries

so since i was the closest one to it, i grabbed the bike and held it in position

all the while i was wondering who owned this bike and it led me to the assumption that someone forgot to take their bike when he/she left the train

but just to be sure i started asking people on the train " does anyone own this bike"

"cos if no one does, im gonna take it"

so when i got to my station, i wheeled it out the carriage whilst all the passengers were laughing and rode it back home

now ive just reached my front door and im pretty happy cos i forgot how much fun riding a bike was

nostalgia bro

when my phone rings and one of my friends is like "the owner of the bike woke up and hes pretty angry"

and i was like oooh shit, ooh shit, this guys gonna beat me up for taking his bike

if i get beaten up how will i do well for my methods sac :(

so i went into the house and bought 10 dollars just in case i had to bribe him

the guy then calls me up (cos he got my phone details from a friend) and tells me to meet him at the station

so i rode the bike to the station and there he is

a chinese fob in a fluro orange labourer's uniform

i immediately start apologising saying that i didnt realise the bike had an owner

but then he cuts me off by shaking my hand, patting my back and pulling out his wallet

he then pulls out a 20 dollar and attempts to give it to me

im like "nonono, it was my fault, im so sorry"

and after some more pushing and shoving, he reluctantly puts the money back in his wallet and thanks me once more

its funny cos that bike didnt even look like it was worth 20 dollars

anyways, i realized that i should have never taken the bike from the train

and that nothing in life is free

but it was so surprising to see a situation like this turn around

i actually assumed the worst and thought i was going to get beaten up

but fortunately in the end, all that that man and i really lost is time

war of the worlds

you know in those movies where crowds of people are screaming

like in war of the worlds, when the tripods emerge and eveyrones panicking and running in all different directions,turning into dust, ruining tom cruise's hair and all that jazz

well, if something like that happened in melbourne in the school oval at mhs and im one of the first onlookers

im not going to run

no sir, im not

im going to take off all my clothes and fucking climb that tripod

and when that tripod throws me off and aims its laz0r beams at me

im going to start jacking off and try and slay the one-eyed dragon before i face my demise

who knows, i might actually pull some globules off which might have some secret ability to burn through the tripods armor and eventually save the world

i could be humanity's hero

i mean who would've thought to have done that, no one

no one could jack off on something that is walking around killing everyone

but not this guy, this guys got it all planned

so when judgement day comes and everyones burning to ashes

dont disturb me when im trying to do my thang

who knows, it just might save you

howdidigetsocool.tumblr.com

keyboard warriors!!!!111oneoneone

keyboard warriors are basically people that act tough on the internet but are serious weak dipshits in real life ill give u a basic rundown of their life,

they were born to parents who happened to be siblings, thus the keyboard warriors ended up lacking a few chromosomes.

however, ther childhood was fairly decent and only occasionally were they raped and taunted for their hideous face, the they then discovered the internet and grew a fetish for gay and/or hentai porn.

Consequently, they consistently went over their monthly 2 gigabyte limit and decided that the internet has other uses less costly uses. They then dedicated a significant portion of their time towards attacking people, the rest as they say is history anyways,

on a side note i farted like 10 times in english but no one noticed. i never get credit for anything :(

brb i have to attend a klan meeting, whop forgot my mask

god knows what would happen if they found out im asian