Why you fail at school~ (and why crossmarking is pointless)

Hey faggots, not everyone gets straight A's, sometimes you may study your vagina out and you still wont get that perfect mark. Why? well read on

Obviously, in order to achieve the elusive 99.95 or even the Lilliputian 99.90 or even those A+ SACS, we’re going to have to study? That is a given. We’re going to have to dedicate long, inordinate amounts of life-draining hours so that perhaps we won’t have to spend the rest of our lives flipping burgers at Mac Donald’s mindlessly repeating the mantra, “Would you like fries with that?” However, after years of experience, I’ve decided that the key to success relies not only on personal effort but the skilful maintenance of relationships with your teachers.

Theoretically, whenever you get your result, your score for a certain test, prac or sac. You have deserved that score. These sorts of tests are designed to reflect the amount of time you have dedicated towards the task. Hence, if you score a high mark, you have probably studied and vice-versa. However, this situation is often not the case. People do not necessarily receive marks that are proportionate to the effort they make. This is where the dilemma arises. For Science subjects, there is really no room for complaint, as the answers are practically set in stone. However, for Humanities subjects, which require extended essays, the result one receives is highly contingent on the individual who marks the paper. So how do we solve the inherent subjectivity of essay-marking? Well sit back, relax, put on some Michael Buble and open up your minds to the reasons why perhaps you aren’t achieving the marks you should be.

In what is supposedly a fair education system, we would like to hope that we receive the mark that we deserve. However, although teachers may attempt to be “professional” and mark the paper free of any bias, they will fail time and time again due to the fact that they cannot control their intrinsic impulses. Their memories of their previous relationship with you and perhaps even of themselves will inevitably affect their interpretation of that particular essay. If you act like a brat in class and continually make smart-alec remarks whilst simultaneously deface the tables by drawing lewd genitalia, (however artistic it may be), what do you think the teacher’s impression of you will be?

Teachers have difficult jobs, they’re overworked, underpaid and any sort of satisfaction they have is mainly derived from the sense of fulfillment they receive when students are conscientious and appreciative. The monetary rewards are hardly motivation enough for them to drag themselves to school day in, day out and to tolerate a students’ unwanted disrespect. Consequently, when a stressed out Mr or Mrs X trawls through the reams of essays on a late Saturday night and eventually come to your paper, what would be the first thing that comes to his or her mind? Would they be cognizant of the hours of study you have dedicated towards the preparation of the exam, or instead envisage the memories of you terrorizing their class? The teacher would surely feel reluctant to award you a high mark simply because he/she does not want to give you that satisfaction. This concept doesn’t even have to be this explicit. The teacher doesn’t even have to hate you. If you are one of those “goodie two shoes” who doesn’t utter a word in class, what do you think the teacher’s memory of you would be? Diddly squat! Thus, when it comes to that fateful evening when they mark your paper, their lack of memory of you may ultimately downgrade your rightful mark.

Do you see how easy it is for individuals to be subtly influenced by their perception of you? We can apply this same principle to a student who may perhaps be highly sociable, endearing and slightly subservient. Even if the paper is littered with grammatical gimmicks, vulgar vocabulary and malicious mistakes, the teacher may ignore these errors because they are literally “blinded” by the charismatic sycophantism and so reward the student’s flattery by awarding the magic A+ and in turn be the biased individual he/she swore not to be.

Now the Education Department in its infinite wisdom attempts to control a certain degree of this bias through the implementation of the cross-marking system. Theoretically, this strategy makes sense. A different person marking such papers has no memories of any students, which inevitably creates a bias-free, impartial environment where everyone can hopefully achieve their desired mark. However, much like many political ideologies, the practice has far less utopian results. In fact, few people realize how fruitless, pointless and time consuming cross-marking really is. Although it is intended to counter the subjectivity of subtle human prejudices, there are some pertinent flaws in its application. After Teacher A has marked your work and hands it over to Teacher B, do you really think that the latter is going to question this colleague’s designated mark for you? No way! Because questioning the initial teacher’s correction is undermining his or her teaching and assessing skills. Such criticisms are a direct attack on the teacher’s ability hence paving the way for conflict. What teacher would risk their relationships and dispute over something as trivial as a simple grade? Furthermore, the work that is cross-marked becomes pock-marked with a myriad of annotations made by the previous teacher. These flinch-inducing squiggles more or less act as direct guides which shape and prevents the subsequent marker from developing independent views and irrevocably forcing him or her to adopt the previous marker’s viewpoint. So cross-marking is clearly not the safety net it professes to be.

Is there an equitable solution? Why yes! We should dismantle this heavily flawed system and replace all the examiners with one supreme, omniscient and unbiased arbiter who marks every test, every SAC, anything that can be gradable. Of course no such individual exists. No such program will ever occur because its completely unrealistic.

Undoubtedly, the system that decides our future is consistently failing due to the subjectivity of humans. Even something as miniscule as one’s handwriting can dictate the overall score of the essay. But, this system is the best thing we have. Ultimately, no matter what anyone does, we cannot control human bias. Ridding teachers of their intrinsic emotions would deprive them of the very feelings that make them human. We don’t want robots after all. Consequently, the only solution we really have is doling out buckets of fulsome obsequiousness. We have to ensure our illustrious educators have a favorable perception of us. We must flash adoring grins, engage in some pointless small talk, carry around their books and continually fuel their ravenous egos. Whatever it takes. We must build upon their positive impression of us. We must literally force their memories of us to be so favorable that when it comes to Judgement Day, we have all the ammunition we need to ensure we are awarded that magic A+

It is rather frightening that our future is so heavily reliant on the emotions and memories of certain individuals. What’s even more scary is that we noble students may have to be forced to act in a lowly and sycophantic manner to achieve our goals. However, your dignity is a very small price to pay for a potentially high result. So swallow your pride and do whatever is necessary, the future allows only two types of people to exist in the world, those that know how to fish and those that wish they could fish. Its much easier being the former.

why asian girls like white guys

why does everyone like white people

why is it that whenever anyone goes overseas

white people are considered gods

even the fat ones that have multiple chins

why?

well, answering this question also serves the dual purpose of answering the more interesting question

especially for you asians out there, why are there so many asian female, white male couples as opposed to the opposite

well

after some long contemplation

i considered the options

one of the reasons why people think thats the case is confidence

are white males generally more confident than asians?

maybe so, their confidence is somewhat insured because of genetic advantages that society deems as more desirable such as extra height, extra muscles

and perhaps even the perception that their better lovers than their asian counterparts

the average white male knows this, the average asian female knows this, everyone knows this

hence, making the white man more confident in his pursuit of the asian vagina

so yea, thats a pertinent point

but this argument only accounts for asians who live in multicultural societies

what about asians who live in asia

why is it that when anglo-saxons go over there, they are still adored

certainly asians over there arent oppressed or put down cos of stereotypes or such, i mean they are the majority, they should not have any issues with their confidence or self esteem

well my explanation for this highly contentious question is that

its all about the image, its all about the perception

and this perception is created and enforced by the media

and who subtly controls most of the media in the western world?

the white man

and what this media does is penetrate the minds of all the asians out there

the media vicariously forces various races to adopt specific characteristics, it provides stereotypes in which people will feel inclined to follow

perhaps it subtly makes the minorities seem less attractive by perhaps hmm giving them stereotypical roles in films, movies, other platforms

and empowers the whities by giving them the more important roles in society blah blah

these expectations ultimately trap people into following the stereotype that has been assigned to them

thus making white people FEEL more confident and active

and asians more likely to feel the need to be social retards

the culmination of these events inevitably just makes the white man seem more attractive and appealing to not just asian girls but every other girl out there

and to be brutally honest

i cant blame asian girls for preferring white males

we're all a bunch of limp-dicked cunt nuggets who if given the choice of spending a night with a hot girl or playing sc2, we'd immediately dive for the keyboard

regardless, my advice for white people out there is that

use your natural advantage because

times running out, you guys are increasingly losing your power as the head honchos

america's decline juxtaposed with china's rise reflects the rapidly changing natures of the perceptions and beliefs that once governed our attitudes

overall, the message im trying to convey is that

it doesnt matter what race you are or what genetic features you possess

you can be the tallest most handsome Aborigine yet you will still lose to the nerdiest, gimpiest northern american

if your race is the most powerful, the most influential and the most feared

then people are going to be naturally drawn to you regardless of whether they are boys or girls

you know why?

because people need that security and the image perpetuated around your race best provides them with greater stability than your individual personality

people need this reassurance as it provides direction into their scared little lives.

the most prominent example of my theory in action is highlighted by

the increase in asian-male to white-female couples due to the rise of kpop

so there you have it, either take it or leave it

regardless, the outcome for now is the very same

no need for you asians to get frustrated, time will eventually pay its dividends

* btw everyone no need to get heated for some of the generalizations i made, stereotypes exist after all cos they are true to some extent

i am very aware that such attitudes are slowly breaking down and to be honest i dont really care but in terms of the hierarchy of love, there are very very clear ranks

How to ensure your children grow up well

hey fags

we're hitting that age where we have to stop thinking about advancing our careers and instead contemplate a white picket fence, turtle neck sweaters but most of all kids with your significant other(s). If you guys intend on saving a few bucks via not buying condoms and thus produce a little "bundle of joy" read this help guide.

In 1920, an American Professor of Psychology, John B Watson, conducted a controversial experiment on a baby named Albert. This so-called “Little Albert” experiment was designed to show empirical evidence on the effects of classical conditioning on humans. Essentially, the professor attempted to condition the infant to feel frightened of an innocuous object. Thus, Watson would give little Albert a white rat which the child would gleefully pat. Suddenly the Professor would bang an excruciatingly loud gong at which point the baby would naturally burst into tears. After multiple repetitions of this experiment, the baby slowly but surely began to associate the loud and shocking noises with the presence of the animal. Furthermore, he began to be terrified of any characteristics of the rat such as its white fur. In the end, Albert could no longer look at Santa Claus or even furry dogs without erupting into tears. Although the experiment was highly successful in proving Watson’s hypothesis, it breached a myriad of ethics and caused permanent psychological damage for the subject. Although Little Albert’s whereabouts are now unknown, psychologists presume that since the experiment was never “extinguished,” his fear must have continued. Perhaps Albert always had an irrational fear of white, furry objects. Shame. He could never enjoy Christmas.

Now we don’t have to professors or psychologists to condition other individuals. It’s quite simple and usually we don’t even realize we’re doing it. In fact, we, as parents, condition children much more than we’d like to admit. Although we may not be as aggressive as Watson, something as simple as continuously reminding your children to study, in order to succeed in the future, can itself be interpreted as conditioning. We must therefore be very careful about our unconscious programming of the young. Observing the dangerous ramifications that deliberate conditioning had on Little Albert, we can safely say that the influences we thrust upon our young children make a lasting impression on their fledging consciousness.

So how do we ensure that our children grow up as productive, creative but most of all “sane” members of society? Well, sit back, put your kids to bed, arm yourselves with some ice cream and read on.

Rationally speaking, every person we meet, every action we take and every word we utter will affect us in some way, although usually that effect is miniscule. During our childhood, every interaction we have is amplified as we more susceptible to manipulation, since we don’t have the capacity, nor the intelligence to think independently. What parents must do is ensure that every memory, every interaction which has the potential to engender strong emotional feelings are meaningful and constructive.

Parents should question their role. Is it to ensure that their children become professional skateboarders or achieve that highly elusive 99.95 ATAR score? Everyone has different ambitions but one aspiration that remains common to such parental aspirations is that the children transition into happy and well-adjusted adults as they try to achieve their goals. Now, what can we do to help them on their quest? Well, harsh though it may sound, in order for kids to “be all that they can be,” parents must give them both desirable and undesirable memories to fester in their consciousness.

It is fairly obvious as to why children need positive memories. From the second they are blasted out of their womb, it is of utmost importance that children are not stressed, cry as little as possible and to be soothed at all costs. If these objectives aren’t achieved, there can be disastrous consequences are studies show that unhappy babies have a far greater likelihood of stress-related diseases as adults. Most of us realize that happy memories nourish children and create lifelong bonds with parents. So it is necessary to do all that we can to cultivate pleasant memories such as carefree holidays, helping Mum make cakes or even going to the footy with Dad.

On the flipside, we must not create a fool’s paradise for our children for they will grow up believing that life is trouble free, when we all know that it’s exactly the opposite. We need to make them aware of the unpleasantness of reality, so they can cope with the difficulties later on. Of course, we shouldn’t resort to the cruel manipulation of Little Albert, but telling your children “No” or even the odd smack whenever they disobey can teach them respect, manners and consideration for others. Of course, smacks may be a negative memory and experience for the child, but it is essentially a training scheme that wil condition them to realize that life is not always a “bed of roses” and that beneath that glossy exterior does indeed lie an uncomfortable crown of thorns. Overall, clearly the appropriate combination of both desirable and undesirable memories will yield the best possible reality for any child.

Life is hard. The sooner children know it, the better. The sooner children don’t take their happiness for granted, the better. But in the meantime, foster significant memories of both ends of the spectrum. Having too many happy memories can result in irresponsible children who forever depend on their parents, whilst too many bad memories can create perpetual fear, anxiety and distrust much like our friend Albert. Ultimately, the fate of our children comes down to the very choices parents make. Ensure that you make the correct ones.

nice guys finish last thats why i treat you like butter chicken

over the years

in regards to relationships and courtship

the belief that "nice guys come last" has materialised

and surprisingly most people believe in it

but more frighteningly nice guys believe in it

thus destroying any chances for them to actually get girls,

its really bad because relationships are all a mental game, self-fufilling prophecies homeskillets

so im gonna clarify this stereotype and hopefully correct any misinterpretations

peeps, you must understand

its not the so-called "nice guys" who come last

its the scared guys

it just happens that alot of nice guys are scared

they're scared of losing their nice guy image or risking their friendship with their significant other

so instead, they attempt to retain their goody-two shoes exterior as they simply dont want to endanger the status quo

Yearning for something more than"just friends" is a direct attack on everything they have known and appreciated in their current meagre relationship and many feel that its not worth the burden

people are intrinsically hardwired to oppose change especially the scared guys

the funny thing is that, in terms of appreciation

no matter how much the scared guy does for the girl, no one really cares

because it has no value, its quality over quantity

whilst your out there catering to the whims of your supposed significant other, the fellow douchebag is devouring that strawberry shortcake

so to all the so called "nice guys" out there

dont try to justify your inadequacy by thinking "hey,at least im not a dick/jerk"

you may not be a dick but you certainly are a pussy

and you know what happens to pussies

homosexuals part 2

yep guys im going to talk about gays once again

perhaps, i secretly crave the cock?

who knows, thats irrelevant

and it shouldnt matter whether im gay or not, it shouldnt affect your perception of me at all

but it does, ohhhhhh it does

anyways

i think as humans, we're all born as bisexual

it is only as we mature, that we have a preference for heterosexuality

just going to your local preschool/ primary school shows that

kids shove their dicks in each others ears and pee on each other all the tiime

and its considered normal, theres nothing purely "gay" about it

sure its disgusting but its justified since you merely a "child"

they're just kids being kids

i remember i would have sword fights with my friends with the streams of urine produced from our very orifices

as the yellow beams connected, there was a moment of unity, brotherhood as we each reveled in our peeing prowess

however, as we become more older and intelligent we are vicariously influenced by the internet, tv, social norms, behaviors to adopt the belief that its better being straight

lifes just easier, its a defence thing, we adjust our behavior in order to yield the best possible reality

now how did this belief solidify among the general mentality of society

well it goes through the stages

looking back into the vast recesses of time

this belief was molded purely through economic reasons

think about it

if your a potato farmer in europe, you and your family's survival depends on the amount of kids you can produce

more kids = more output

more output = better ability to satisfy needs/wants

to put it simply, being gay is bad for business

so even if there were gays, it was suppressed heavily not because they were scared of the ramifications of being alienated by society but because it reduced their living standards

now in the 21 century with huge advancements in productivity, being gay is actually beneficial for the economy

it keeps the population in check and yada yada, maybe even decreased crime rates too cos gays are so freaking docile

but back then, it wasn't

and i mentioned food in my last note, your need for food surpasses your need for lovers regardless of whether you're gay or not

anyways, the next stage is that what was once an economic justification began to transition into an outright hatred

as heterosexuality becomes the norm, any deviation of it starts to be approached with hostility and suspicion

why ?

because people hate what they cant understand, nobody likes change

regardless, there is a direct correlation between economic growth and homosexuality

so a word of advice for you butt pirates who endeavor to sail that rather narrow opening

the current economic climate indicates that soon our world markets are gonna collapse reverting civilization back to agrarian times, you guys are going to be scapegoated and abused as the fledgling legal foundations that have finally been created to protect your very rights collapse around you, take solace in the fact that its not you, its your economic incompetency