masturbation and drugs

have you guys noticed that masturbating and taking drugs is pretty similar

think about it

btw, the time frame is within a day

your average male jacks of what

3-4 times a day? right guys, right? AM I THE ONLY ONE ASLDFJALKDJFLKAJDLKFJASDKFLAKSDFJ

i mean any less than that and your considered pretty weak

but around the 3rd time, the pleasure exponentially declines

its not even fun anymore, its like a chore, sure you get a miniscule modicum of relief but is it really worth the hours you spent poring through spankwire to locate the appropriate porn

now once you hit the 5th, 6th, thats when it actually gets painful

your body cannot physically compete with the mind, although mentally speaking you may feel ripe, your nether regions wont because they are vitally in need of replenishment

now, this is simlar to taking drugs

because the first couple of times you take drugs, its amazing, you can actually taste the purple

but after a while, it becomes an addiction and the consequences can be quite painful,

you no longer see the purple

but you do indeed vomit it

its not a nice feeling

the difference between masturbating and taking drugs

is that masturbating is alot more sustainable, you can go and go and go provided that you have the patience to wait for your body to rejuvenate itself which

on the other hand, drugs have more of a permanent effect on the body, you cant continuously consume it

so kids

the overall message im trying to convey is that

DONT SMOKE THE WEED, JUST DO THE DEED ;)

Mr Simple

hey everyone

this note is specifically targeted at my international friends or just those whom are interested in korean culture

now when you think of korean culture, what comes to your mind?

i am almost certain that the neutral connections your miniscule brains are conjuring up are concerned mainly with kpop, kdramas, kmovies and such

and thats cool, korean entertainment is becoming an increasingly integral of what makes korea so unique and vibrant

but,

it goes much deeper than that,

and ill try to explain it through using kpop as it is the only platform you simpletons can really comprehend. true?

recently, super junior made a song called Mr Simple

and since the majority of you people cannot understand korean you undoubtedly neglect its occasionally meaningful lyrical content

so ill translate it for you

the basic gist of the song is all about encouraging you to be happy the way you are and that if life gives you lemons, make lemonade instead of jumping off the Han bridge.

the song expresses that it doesn't matter if your grades are high or low, you must be content because that's life and you cant control everything

these lyrics resonate strongly with most koreans because with korea its all about achieving perfection

perfection in terms of education, results, sports and even appearance/beauty

this strive for success has unquestionably led to massive economic advances with Korea being able to transform their economy from the ashes left by the Japanese colonization and the civil war to it being the 15th largest gdp today

yet as always, there are costs, there are sacrifices, seoul wasn't built in a day

we must also take into account the lack of natural resources and the perpetual threat of war from the culturally identical north

Consequently, in order to survive, in order to thrive, korea has had to work hard

due to this mentality of "continuous improvement" that has been fostered and honed for years now, many koreans are finding it hard to cope with the steep expectations of society resulting in one of the highest levels of suicide and depression, highest working hours per year etc

with children as young as 10 studying 14 hours a day

even kpop is a mirror image of korean society, few have any idea how hard those singers and dancers train to achieve the fame they have now

that is the sad reality for many koreans

overall, im glad super junior made this song, (even though personally in terms of its musicality i think my farts are more appealing)

im glad they're advocating a more relaxed, chilled out attitude for not just koreans but hardworking people in general

im glad they're taking stock of what is important such as the dangers that permeate korean society,

these danger which insidiously alienate the youth and contribute to a myriad of stress-related diseases,

im thankful that not all kpop is irrelevant jizz pudding about broken hearts, love and repetitions of one syllable over and over again .. i.e. (GEE, GEE, GEE, HOOT, HOOT, OH , OH)

the sad thing is, this song in the grand scheme of things will play a very little role in changing the deeply ingrained attitudes held by most koreans or anyone else who strive for success at a detriment to their sanity/wellbeing

in essence, what Im trying to imbue to you readers today is that sometimes you have to be a Mr Simple

and you mustn't fret if life doesnt go your way, theres always a way and even if you can't see that light at the end of the tunnel, you have to try, you have to have hope

moreover, people must understand that korean culture is more than just marks, i mean kpop**

yea the kpop thing is kinda advantageous cos some asians are instantly attracted to me due to that association with my heritage

but i, much like korea, have alot more to offer than the bullshit that spews out of SNSD's succulent mouths

btw, if your interested in the lyrics of superjunior's "mr simple," check out the link, it has english subtitles

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=c1nLiFk4OXs

steve jobs

im sure you guys have all heard that steve jobs died today

and yea, its sad a person died but its not exactly worth a facebook status or wallpost

because he isnt really worthy of remembrance

and thats only partly to do with the fact that hes a bad a person

death is a constant thing in our lives, why should we care or even pretend to care about the death of someone whos so distant from us? I mean the only attachment we have to Mr jobs is that product we twiddle with and its not like he gave it to us for free, it was bought with moneyz.

which brings me to the point of money.

large scale organizations like apple have somewhat of an obligation to be philanthropic, they make billions of funds yearly and it would be just a drop in the bucket for them to dedicate several million of those for charities

but noo, mr jobs cut costs (including charitable donations) at every angle in order to boost his company's profit margins and his success with apple was contingent on his ability to backstab his friends as well.

its ironic that his schemes to accumulate vast amounts of wealth is rendered pointless due to his early death

once again, Yeah it sucks that he died and my thoughts go to his family

but they dont need my thoughts, or those facebook updates or all that melancholy media

pretty sure his wife and kids will be more than content with the billions of dollars he leaves behind

Mr jobs isn't exactly the technological messiah everyone says he is. He was the embodiment of everything that is wrong with the corporate world. If he wasn't there, someone else just as cunning and ruthless would have filled his boots. So spare your thoughts and your feigned affections for someone who really matters.

anyways apple is shit

buy Samsung

how do you like them apples Mr Jobs

too soon? im going to hell arent i.

blackouts and rejections

hey frands

today we got our mhs varsity jackets

i dont think ill wear it in public for fear of being branded by a faggot

anywhoo, it does look rather aesthetically pleasing

so guys, after about 2 hours of lanning with some pasty white onions

i took the extremely crowded train home

and lo and behold on my carriage, there was that girl ive been stalking for yonks

now, she hasn't really been on my mind due to the looming exams and such

but just seeing her face instantly revitalized my love for her

so im kind of fatalistic to some extent and thus thought that me seeing her today at this very time, at this very moment was somewhat coordinated by some higher, enlightened entity

so i thought, okay, nows my chance, i have to talk to her

now this train was packed to the rafters, so i couldnt talk to her then

but when she got off, i got off before her and i was like

"hey,, excuse me"

and she was like ... "what" but she was still walking and i sorta looked at her funny

and she kept walking

and i thought to myself,, well that was anticlimatic

so i hopped on board the train and went home

sigh, at least i can take solace in the fact that i tried

oh well, thats why they invented roofies

anyways, i got home and there was a huge blackout

nothing was working, my family were using candles

man, it was so draining not being able to use the internet and interact with you folks

so freaking draining, i felt like crap

i didnt realize how much i needed technology to nourish and sustain my life

like, we humans are are naturally social butterflies, we enjoy talking and sharing stuff with other people

and all this is possible to the average individual due to advancements in technology

we are now all capable of fufilling one of our most integral social needs

man, i would hate to be living in africa, freaking getting buttraped by some tribal leader

but whatever, better them than me

no use, wondering what could have been or would have been

i am me, we'll be free

hello world

this is me

life could be

oh yea, FUN FOR EVERYONE

LIFE IS EASY IF YOU WEAR A SMILE

JUST BE YOURSELF DONT EVER CHANGE YOUR STYLE

beating around the bush

hey champs and champettes

i recently watched fright night

and do you know what villains have a tendency of doing

they love to mock, manipulate or torture their victims

and when they're about to commit the actual murder, enough time has elapsed for the victim to discover some way to thwart the murderer or help comes along

think back to Goldilocks and the three bears

why did the stupid bears hesitate when they saw goldilocks sleeping in their bed?

why didnt they just maul her right then and there and change that fairytale into a gruesome adult fiction?

why didn't sith emperor destroy the rebel alliance right away?

why didn't the big bad wolf rape little red riding hood the instant she went into his house?

yea sure, it sounds boring but its the most logical thing to do innit

well the answer is quite simple

we dont like things that are too easy to get

we like things of value and if they're not valuable, we try and make them valuable by giving it chances, giving it opportunities, by beating around the bush

and thats what all villains subconsciously do

and thats why the villains end up losing

the same concept can be applied to courtship

girls and boys love to play hard to get, they love to beat around the bush, they do every single thing they possibly can to hint that they like each other without explicitly saying it

but if you keep playing hard to get, she just may stop trying

THUS, YOU LOSE

we humans love the implied because what is implied is what is more valuable

same as boobies, i myself personally love the outline or the promise of boobies, the way they're nice and protected by the bra but the actual boobie itself? EEEWIE, looks like chewbacca defecated all over han solo

its time that we stop beating around the bush

because quite frankly its a waste of time and sure although it may not be as fun, it can backfire on you

if your going to murder someone, murder him/her right out, dont toy with them

if you like someone, just say "bitch, i loveeeee you"

the next girl that just outright says to me "kenny, i like you"

ill be pretty impressed, their confidence is much more arousing than months of insecure chasing

if you keep beating around the bush, maybe you wont get inside it