but please sir, can i have some more? MORE?!

what is the greatest motivator

now people say love, wealth or some other abstract concept is best at motivating individuals

true as that may be

there is a deeper, more subtle and potentially more volatile factor that very few people in the western world are aware of

and thats food

but more pertinenly, the lack of it

looking back onto the french and russian revolution, the initial revolts occurred primarily due to the rising grain prices

or shortages, it wasn't ideals or democracy, it was just dissatisfaction that the french/russian weren't gaining their customary cabbage/loaf of bread per day

it is believed that every riot that occurs is either indirectly or directly linked to food

a strike for better working conditions or wages is instigated due to the yearning for employees to have a greater capacity to feed themselves and their families

now, this issue of food is not that relevant in australian society

as there is more or less an abudance of food

we take it for granted, in fact, after inviting a few of my pasty white friends over

ive noticed that they dont even eat all of my mum's delicious cooking, justifying their inadequacy as that they're "full"

it doesnt matter if your're full, you eat everything you're given

what insolent motherfuckers

regardless, its fairly obvious that people not just physically but mentally need food

having access to basic food is the first sign of indication that life is stable

so whenever something threatens that norm, naturally humans get angry, culminating in explosive events such as revolutions, wars, conflicts and such

now as always, im going to link this idea of food and motivation to relationships and such

to put it simply

feed your girlfriend and boyfriend, ensure that you eat lunch, dinner and if your lucky breakfast, every day

make it a part of their daily existence

so that if something happens that threatens to sever that tenuous grip we call love

their lack of enjoying something as simple as food with you can serve to remind them how important you really are

remember guys, food and our need for it is still deeply embedded in our psyche

we just arent aware of it

but when faced with a certain trigger or a stimulus

it will resurface

and when it does, powerful emotions are invoked, greatly enhancing our ability to implement our desires

now aint that some food for thought.

masturbation and drugs

have you guys noticed that masturbating and taking drugs is pretty similar

think about it

btw, the time frame is within a day

your average male jacks of what

3-4 times a day? right guys, right? AM I THE ONLY ONE ASLDFJALKDJFLKAJDLKFJASDKFLAKSDFJ

i mean any less than that and your considered pretty weak

but around the 3rd time, the pleasure exponentially declines

its not even fun anymore, its like a chore, sure you get a miniscule modicum of relief but is it really worth the hours you spent poring through spankwire to locate the appropriate porn

now once you hit the 5th, 6th, thats when it actually gets painful

your body cannot physically compete with the mind, although mentally speaking you may feel ripe, your nether regions wont because they are vitally in need of replenishment

now, this is simlar to taking drugs

because the first couple of times you take drugs, its amazing, you can actually taste the purple

but after a while, it becomes an addiction and the consequences can be quite painful,

you no longer see the purple

but you do indeed vomit it

its not a nice feeling

the difference between masturbating and taking drugs

is that masturbating is alot more sustainable, you can go and go and go provided that you have the patience to wait for your body to rejuvenate itself which

on the other hand, drugs have more of a permanent effect on the body, you cant continuously consume it

so kids

the overall message im trying to convey is that

DONT SMOKE THE WEED, JUST DO THE DEED ;)

Mr Simple

hey everyone

this note is specifically targeted at my international friends or just those whom are interested in korean culture

now when you think of korean culture, what comes to your mind?

i am almost certain that the neutral connections your miniscule brains are conjuring up are concerned mainly with kpop, kdramas, kmovies and such

and thats cool, korean entertainment is becoming an increasingly integral of what makes korea so unique and vibrant

but,

it goes much deeper than that,

and ill try to explain it through using kpop as it is the only platform you simpletons can really comprehend. true?

recently, super junior made a song called Mr Simple

and since the majority of you people cannot understand korean you undoubtedly neglect its occasionally meaningful lyrical content

so ill translate it for you

the basic gist of the song is all about encouraging you to be happy the way you are and that if life gives you lemons, make lemonade instead of jumping off the Han bridge.

the song expresses that it doesn't matter if your grades are high or low, you must be content because that's life and you cant control everything

these lyrics resonate strongly with most koreans because with korea its all about achieving perfection

perfection in terms of education, results, sports and even appearance/beauty

this strive for success has unquestionably led to massive economic advances with Korea being able to transform their economy from the ashes left by the Japanese colonization and the civil war to it being the 15th largest gdp today

yet as always, there are costs, there are sacrifices, seoul wasn't built in a day

we must also take into account the lack of natural resources and the perpetual threat of war from the culturally identical north

Consequently, in order to survive, in order to thrive, korea has had to work hard

due to this mentality of "continuous improvement" that has been fostered and honed for years now, many koreans are finding it hard to cope with the steep expectations of society resulting in one of the highest levels of suicide and depression, highest working hours per year etc

with children as young as 10 studying 14 hours a day

even kpop is a mirror image of korean society, few have any idea how hard those singers and dancers train to achieve the fame they have now

that is the sad reality for many koreans

overall, im glad super junior made this song, (even though personally in terms of its musicality i think my farts are more appealing)

im glad they're advocating a more relaxed, chilled out attitude for not just koreans but hardworking people in general

im glad they're taking stock of what is important such as the dangers that permeate korean society,

these danger which insidiously alienate the youth and contribute to a myriad of stress-related diseases,

im thankful that not all kpop is irrelevant jizz pudding about broken hearts, love and repetitions of one syllable over and over again .. i.e. (GEE, GEE, GEE, HOOT, HOOT, OH , OH)

the sad thing is, this song in the grand scheme of things will play a very little role in changing the deeply ingrained attitudes held by most koreans or anyone else who strive for success at a detriment to their sanity/wellbeing

in essence, what Im trying to imbue to you readers today is that sometimes you have to be a Mr Simple

and you mustn't fret if life doesnt go your way, theres always a way and even if you can't see that light at the end of the tunnel, you have to try, you have to have hope

moreover, people must understand that korean culture is more than just marks, i mean kpop**

yea the kpop thing is kinda advantageous cos some asians are instantly attracted to me due to that association with my heritage

but i, much like korea, have alot more to offer than the bullshit that spews out of SNSD's succulent mouths

btw, if your interested in the lyrics of superjunior's "mr simple," check out the link, it has english subtitles

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=c1nLiFk4OXs

steve jobs

im sure you guys have all heard that steve jobs died today

and yea, its sad a person died but its not exactly worth a facebook status or wallpost

because he isnt really worthy of remembrance

and thats only partly to do with the fact that hes a bad a person

death is a constant thing in our lives, why should we care or even pretend to care about the death of someone whos so distant from us? I mean the only attachment we have to Mr jobs is that product we twiddle with and its not like he gave it to us for free, it was bought with moneyz.

which brings me to the point of money.

large scale organizations like apple have somewhat of an obligation to be philanthropic, they make billions of funds yearly and it would be just a drop in the bucket for them to dedicate several million of those for charities

but noo, mr jobs cut costs (including charitable donations) at every angle in order to boost his company's profit margins and his success with apple was contingent on his ability to backstab his friends as well.

its ironic that his schemes to accumulate vast amounts of wealth is rendered pointless due to his early death

once again, Yeah it sucks that he died and my thoughts go to his family

but they dont need my thoughts, or those facebook updates or all that melancholy media

pretty sure his wife and kids will be more than content with the billions of dollars he leaves behind

Mr jobs isn't exactly the technological messiah everyone says he is. He was the embodiment of everything that is wrong with the corporate world. If he wasn't there, someone else just as cunning and ruthless would have filled his boots. So spare your thoughts and your feigned affections for someone who really matters.

anyways apple is shit

buy Samsung

how do you like them apples Mr Jobs

too soon? im going to hell arent i.

blackouts and rejections

hey frands

today we got our mhs varsity jackets

i dont think ill wear it in public for fear of being branded by a faggot

anywhoo, it does look rather aesthetically pleasing

so guys, after about 2 hours of lanning with some pasty white onions

i took the extremely crowded train home

and lo and behold on my carriage, there was that girl ive been stalking for yonks

now, she hasn't really been on my mind due to the looming exams and such

but just seeing her face instantly revitalized my love for her

so im kind of fatalistic to some extent and thus thought that me seeing her today at this very time, at this very moment was somewhat coordinated by some higher, enlightened entity

so i thought, okay, nows my chance, i have to talk to her

now this train was packed to the rafters, so i couldnt talk to her then

but when she got off, i got off before her and i was like

"hey,, excuse me"

and she was like ... "what" but she was still walking and i sorta looked at her funny

and she kept walking

and i thought to myself,, well that was anticlimatic

so i hopped on board the train and went home

sigh, at least i can take solace in the fact that i tried

oh well, thats why they invented roofies

anyways, i got home and there was a huge blackout

nothing was working, my family were using candles

man, it was so draining not being able to use the internet and interact with you folks

so freaking draining, i felt like crap

i didnt realize how much i needed technology to nourish and sustain my life

like, we humans are are naturally social butterflies, we enjoy talking and sharing stuff with other people

and all this is possible to the average individual due to advancements in technology

we are now all capable of fufilling one of our most integral social needs

man, i would hate to be living in africa, freaking getting buttraped by some tribal leader

but whatever, better them than me

no use, wondering what could have been or would have been

i am me, we'll be free

hello world

this is me

life could be

oh yea, FUN FOR EVERYONE

LIFE IS EASY IF YOU WEAR A SMILE

JUST BE YOURSELF DONT EVER CHANGE YOUR STYLE

beating around the bush

hey champs and champettes

i recently watched fright night

and do you know what villains have a tendency of doing

they love to mock, manipulate or torture their victims

and when they're about to commit the actual murder, enough time has elapsed for the victim to discover some way to thwart the murderer or help comes along

think back to Goldilocks and the three bears

why did the stupid bears hesitate when they saw goldilocks sleeping in their bed?

why didnt they just maul her right then and there and change that fairytale into a gruesome adult fiction?

why didn't sith emperor destroy the rebel alliance right away?

why didn't the big bad wolf rape little red riding hood the instant she went into his house?

yea sure, it sounds boring but its the most logical thing to do innit

well the answer is quite simple

we dont like things that are too easy to get

we like things of value and if they're not valuable, we try and make them valuable by giving it chances, giving it opportunities, by beating around the bush

and thats what all villains subconsciously do

and thats why the villains end up losing

the same concept can be applied to courtship

girls and boys love to play hard to get, they love to beat around the bush, they do every single thing they possibly can to hint that they like each other without explicitly saying it

but if you keep playing hard to get, she just may stop trying

THUS, YOU LOSE

we humans love the implied because what is implied is what is more valuable

same as boobies, i myself personally love the outline or the promise of boobies, the way they're nice and protected by the bra but the actual boobie itself? EEEWIE, looks like chewbacca defecated all over han solo

its time that we stop beating around the bush

because quite frankly its a waste of time and sure although it may not be as fun, it can backfire on you

if your going to murder someone, murder him/her right out, dont toy with them

if you like someone, just say "bitch, i loveeeee you"

the next girl that just outright says to me "kenny, i like you"

ill be pretty impressed, their confidence is much more arousing than months of insecure chasing

if you keep beating around the bush, maybe you wont get inside it

homosexuals

despite my propensity to give queers "shit"

lol get it, shit, cos they dabble in anal sex ahhh

i dont actually hate them

they can do whatever they want, as long as they're not hurting anyone

yea sure, its weird. BUT

i have no qualms as to whos sausage they want to attempt to stick their own sausage into

its all good

but speaking purely from a relationship/love perspective

man its gotta be hard being gay

apart from all that conscious and unconscious discrimination they receive from society (not so much anymore)

there is a massive shortage of lovers they could pick from

cos something like only 10 percent of the population is gay

now if even straight people have a hard timing finding lovers

gay people are going to be in a world of hurt

imagine all that loneliness building up

in addition, still now

many people are still residing in that metaphorical closet

and they're too young and immature to come out anytime soon

if they're really unlucky, they might be hit with that realization that they swing the other way when they're in a love-less marriage with two kids that were produced during a night of forced male orgasms in order to not make the wife feel too inadequate

anywhoo, that is not the sort of environment you want to bring a kid up in

thus thats even less homos to choose from

cos its not like homos have some external trait that you can immediately identify them from

you know whos got it the best?

the bisexuals

they have the highest probability of finding lovers

because they stick their hand

or in this case, penis, in two jars

the male jar and the female jar

they get two bites of the apple

the whole nature of homosexual relationships are probably really different too

like would gay males play video games and watch action movies for fun?

would they both be horny as shit and have sex all the time,

cos face it guys in straight relationships would have alot more sex if their female partners were more compliant

so how would males in gay relationships act?

would gay females eat ice cream and complain that they're gaining weight?

and instead of sex, would they just spend the majority of their time cuddling and braiding each others hair?

you know, all that romantic stuff that straight girls would prefer doing if their males partners werent so horny all the time

so how would females in gay relationships act?

do you see where im getting at here?

if you look at it from that point of view, it makes more sense for people to be homosexual

males tend to have similar interests with other males and likewise for females

straight relationships will undoubtedly always be suffering that inherent conflict born from sex-related differences

all that shit about opposites attracting each other really only applies to physics

people of similar interests are the ones that inevitably get together

so then why dont we have more gays? is the vagina to penis match just that much more satisfying than the penis to ass? or scissor sisters?

there would also be less domestic abuse and likelihood of rape in homosexual relationships too

these problems occur due to the differences in power

if both partners are of the same sex, they're more likely to be of similar strength

therefore, less likely to tolerate a kick to the vagina

or maybe homosexual relationships are exactly the same as heterosexual relationships,

maybe one gay fulfills the "female/sensitive" role and the other gay fulfills the more 'male/masculine" role

that essentially has the same dynamics as most heterosexual relationships

the only difference is that the previously imposed gender for each role has altered

males cant always play the masculine role, they have feelings too !

anyways,i have no clue of the nature of homosexual relationships and lets keep it that way

but i gotta say, it would be thought-provoking to say the least, if i could look at some guys, the same way i look at some girls

but i cant

my mind or my body isnt hardwired that way, so any lances or julians out there reading this,

please leave me alone

regardless the more homosexuals we have, more girls fo me!

*why the frickburger do girls always say, " I WANT A GAY BEST FRIEND"

PRETTY FREAKING SURE, THAT THEY DONT WANT TO BE YOURS

bam !

*are you guys still reading?

this is so freaking long

wow you must really have nothing to do

hahahaha

please, feed me

you're a nigger harry

im a what?

you're a nigger

IM A WHAT

hello.

picking up girls through facebook

picture this scenario

you meet a hot girl at a party

you hit it off and you fluff around for a little and talk about irrelevant things cos its a party after all

the next day, bam, you see her facebook request

and while your frolicking happily due to the realization that you may get your dick wet the sudden REAL realization that you know NOTHING about this girl hits you, you dont know how to act, you dont know what to say, blah blah

so what to do

well, folks, take advantage of the 21st century

we're not caveman, we dont actually have to have lengthy conversations with the person to get to know them

in fact, sometimes, facebook or other online platforms that convey some modicum of information about the person is usually more representative of their personality than the bullshit that comes out of their mouth

first thing is to scour their facebook and interpret the information you find to create a visual skeleton of their personality,

look at the amount of likes they receive for their photos or statuses to determine their social status

look at the amount of boys or girls that wallpost them and decipher whether their competitors or just faggots that like to spam walls

look at the sort of groups/links they "like," see whether you have similar humour

look at the sort of music they listen to

when you eventually talk through that ridiculously inconvenient channel that is facebook chat, you can subtly discuss music interests and when she says, "oh i like linkin park" you can be like "OHH, linkin park, THEY'RE MY FAVOURITE, YEAA"... "WE GOT SO MUCH COMMON"

yea, i know this is heralding some new style of stalking

but guys, stalking is only stalking if the person your stalking finds out your stalking him/her

haha, everyone is probably already doing this anyway

just be careful though, as you spam "older posts" to find out more about them, do not accidentally like one of their statuses that was mentioned years ago, that is bound to scare them

sick

being sick

hey frands
today i was sick
and i gotta say, although i was sick i had a pretty productive day of twiddling my balls and browsing for the appropriate hentai for my next sesh
anyways, my nose was like a tap and i spent alot of time just sneezing
which brings me to a confession
i havent blown my nose before
i kind of have a mental block about it,
maybe i lack the vital muscles required to perform it
whenever i try, i get scared and end up backing out
i usually just end up getting a wad of tissues and sticking it in my nose for 10 minutes so that itd soak up all the mucus
it seems that my tissues finally serve their true purpose... usually they soak up other things
i hate being sick, i feel so weak, so powerless
and ive also lost confidence in my immune system
and im kind of hesitant about my 'no clothes" policy
im going to wear clothes to bed tonight for the first time in about 8 months
bleh
formal is gonna be on soon
bringing a partner is way too mainstream...
yep thats the excuse ill use to justify my inability to get the ladies

blood

hey frands

today i donated blood and as i laid there waiting for this machine to harvest my life essence

i see beds upon beds of valiant mhs students all doing the same thing

and i think to myself, despite the vast discrepancies of humans in terms of our appearance

there is a mutual matter that exists among all of us and this substance courses through our very veins

this rich, pure, red blood

yea sure, we have different coloured skin, different shaped eyes, noses and mouths BUT

this red liquid is something that is common amongst ALL humans

so i propose a name to change to our species

the word "humans" sounds bland, sounds boring and doesn't encapsulate the similarities of our species

perhaps we should call ourselves, The Reds, Redlings, Reddites, Red Rangers, Little Red Riding Hoods

something along those lines and despite the communist connotations

i think its time we prioritize the problems of this world

Im pretty sure a name change for our species ranks far above minuscule problems such as world poverty and war

those things can take a back seat :)

regardless, i urge all you folks to donate blood

the next time you have a blood nose, get a vial and scoop de doop

but seriously, blood is literally the easiest thing to donate

it really isnt that much of an ask

you know, when im penetrating your girlfriend and i somehow manage to break her fallopian tube thereby causing severe blood leakages

shes gonna need blood

and mate, blood doesnt grow on trees

it grows on the fat of you seedy, materialistic capitalists

men are slaves to their sex drives

hello everyone

how many times have you done something that you wouldn't otherwise do but did because you were fueled by your sex drive

how many times have you done something that you know you will end up regretting but still did it anyway

the thing is with horniness, as soon as you discharge, depending on the nature of your relationship with the girl, you can feel this thing called guilt

anyways, back to the point, when your in the zone, the zone before you discharge,

you are basically on your own unique drug because you act uncharacteristically

horniness is practically a drug, its addictive, feels good and can result in some pretty negative things

so, how do you control your sex drive

i used to think a sex drive was like driving a car

practically "fuel" consists of getting your dick sucked or hooking up with a girl or having kinky clown sex with a girl

And every now and then you have to fuel your car, whilst the car acts as a sort of metaphor for your mind, your sanity, if the car doesnt receive enough fuel it doesnt go anywhere, it just stands motionless, picking up dust and getting vandalized by hooligans and overall living a meaningless life.

i mean whats the purpose of a car, it is a device created to get from A to B, if its not going anywhere the car is essentially being denied of its very nature. I thought i was a car man. A fucking lexus that runs on fossil fuels none of that ethanol bullshit which is harvested by the blood, sweat and toil of south american innocents.

whoah that was off track, just like the car is off track.... cos its not driving, its off track, get it. IM FUNNY DAMMIT

thats why i dont understand those asexual nerds who dont seem to need this source of relief

they seem to be perfectly content with not having a girlfriend or any girls to chase

is it the distant dream of becoming a successful CEO and then having plenty of girls

or are there really more asexual people than we'd like to think

moving on.

i thought for me to function normally in society and for me to not get too crazy or desperate,

i had to have a certain dose of sexual activities with a girl, whoever it may be

however, the problem lies with that is that there arent a line of girls who are willing to fuel me.

now this theory may be true to an extent however mostly its not

horniness isnt something you can satisfy in the long term, its not,

you just cant do something and hope it gets "out of your system"

its always there, its always prevalent and no matter how many bodily interactions you have with the opposite sex,

it may not be enough, in fact for guys with addictive personalities it might have the opposite effect.

so the answer lies in being able to harness your sex drive and redirecting that energy to more positive means.

You could redirect all that youthful vitality towards the accomplishment of your homework

another solution could be to get a girlfriend whom you love and have ample amounts of sex with her so you dont feel guilty

i mean, even looking at the people around me it seems that those individuals with girlfriends are either

a) fucking up on everything OR

b) owning it up

it may be a risk but i guess a triple cheeseburger for your psyche could be that the best way to function as a normal, bright, intelligent and active citizen is through having a lover but until then, although being a slave to your sex drive may be a bad thing, its better than having no sex drive

economic value of sluts

being the keen economist that i am

ive decided to analyze sluts and their impact on the economy

so what are sluts

well they generally populate gloria jeans, night clubs and malls

and can be seen with a cock in one hand and your dignity in the other

right. anywhooo

sluts dont facilitate the need for spending

unlike dating, you dont have to buy them them gifts or go on dates in order to boink them

as they give it away for nothing, they're basically goods, goods that can talk and do other, less innocuous things

hence, relative to dating and courtship, these sluts decrease private consumption and therefore aggregate demand

the only real use a slut is for her to bloom into a prostitute

then theyd be contributing to the economy but then again their impact would not be seen, as alot of prostitution is underground, black-market activity and thus not recorded in our annual GDP figures

nevertheless, much like immigrants, lol

we need sluts, they maintain our sanity and ensure that we dont attain the burden or shame of going to a prostitute

not everybody has the time or stamina to undergo a lengthy process of phone calls, corny gifts and constant loss of dignity for the hope that they may receive an awkward turtle kiss after dinner

yet in the long run, sluts erode the likelihood of families

why? because no one wants to marry sluts because they're too insecure about their ability to make "love" with someone whos made "love" with lots of "loves"

marriage is good for our economy as it usually equals children

children need food, xboxes, tampons, blankets, french tapestry

parents must cater to their offspring's needs through working long hours and feigning appreciation for their children's morbid depiction of a butterfly painting

the combination of these two activities fuel the economy, this back and forth process of buying and selling goods/services shreds further evidence to the fact that families are an integral component of every functional economy

more sluts = less families = restricted population growth = labour shortages = increased inflow of immigrants = london riots

therefore, from an economic point of view, i think its safe to say that sluts are detrimental towards our economy

my son, its beautiful, you are sure to give Mr Gogh a run for his money

anarchy in the UK

unless you guys have been living under a rock for the past days

im sure you've realized whats happening in london right now

the riots..

now im not too sure on the specifics but apparently a man shot at a police officer, missed

to which the police officer fired back and hit

there was a peaceful demonstration from the dead man's families which eventually developed into a riot that is continuing to spread from suburb to suburb today

now what are the causes of the riots?

is it cos the man was shot, is it cos the police supposedly have too much power?

well, its none of that

what fuels the cogs and gears for the riot is rage and humanity's intrinsic love for violence

and the horrid thing is, this fuel is nearly limitless

i doubt half the people there are even aware of what started it and are simply joining for the pure fun of it

there are people looting, smashing down windows, stealing from other people

thats pure, unadulterated anarchy, there is no order to it, there is no enlightened belief, no final goal

the ends dont justify the means because there arent any means and there arent any ends

it just shreds further evidence to the notion that if people are cognizant of the fact that there wont be any ramifications to their undesirable actions, they'll have no qualms about performing them

but i gotta admit, it looks like alot of fun

not the rioting

but the fun in being a riot cop

smashing down these low socioeconomic filth who pay lilliputian taxes who then loot from small shop keepers on the basis that its due to the government's lack of welfare benefits

it looks fun, the only downside of being a riot cop is that because people are so "democratic" nowadays and there are consequences for even the most minuscule things, the police's authority have been severely reduced

in order to get "order" and some modicum of peace back into london, it is fairly obvious that the police have to implement harsher tactics

why dont they bring in a fire truck and hose the rioters down like they did to the chocolate people in the U.S.

England, where are your fucking balls

leaderless, mindless, acts of violence can ultimately only be thwarted by violence

it appears that thousands of years of evolution and civilization has bypassed these rioters

so its safe to classify them as apes, semi sentinent apes

what happens to the apes in "planet of the apes?"

they get fucking massacred

OMG, FUCK I WANT TO BE A RIOT COP

what i do when im horny

even i have to admit that i do indeed get horny at times

and do you know how i subdue my raging boner

its quite simple

i dont watch porn, i used to, but after downloading 200 gigs worth, you start to realise that theres more to life than hentai and tentacle rape

i simply go to the local florist and buy several daffodils

then i tenderly plant them in my front yard and pat them

*pat, pat, pat

then i go AHHHHHH, make a big yawn

and im spent :)

wasnt that productive :)

i hate nice people

do you know what i hate about nice people?

they're nice to everyone

you dont deserve their generosity, they just thrust it to you, it seems so fake

doesnt make you feel valued at all

because whats the point, they're nice to EVERYONE

since you don't have the work for them to be "nice" to you, the whole relationship seems pointless

and nice people can't seem to say no to anything

i mean, i dont want them to agree with me on every single fucking thing i say

can't they voice their own opinions and such

ultimately, nice people are pathetic

everyone needs some degree of hate in them

and being purely nice will not get you anywhere in life

in fact the world is a cruel cruel place

they dont call it survival of the fittest for no reason.

and this is why nice girls and guys will consistently come last

think of it like this

lets say two girls like you

one of them is really nice and the other one is kinda bitchy

the bitchy one beats the shit out of the nice one

then professes her love for you

the bitchy one is willing to hurt her closest threat in order to gain your affection

who is more endearing?

who is capable of loving you more?

harry fucking potter

hey girls

i watched harry potter today

and despite the fact that it got a 91 percent fresh rating for rotten tomatoes and the fact that tons of people said it was epic, it just didnt cut it for me, i really tried to enjoy it, i really did but in the end i stared in disbelief when members of the audience clapped when the credits rolled down

first of all, ill begin with some of the things that harry potter did kind of well

1. snapes acting

2. the terracotta warriors

3. emma watson's smile

4. dean thomas' manliness

5. the awkward hug beween voldemort and draco

apart from those meagre factors, the movie in general was horrible

im going to begin by questioning the style of warfare that would occur between people that can do magic

the wand is effectively a long range weapon, a spell can pretty much get from one side of the world to another

so why the fuck do the death eaters insist on charging at hogwarts

cant they just fucking artillery fire the shit out of it until everyone dies

later on in the courtyard area, the death eaters and the students are literally casting spells at each other from mere metres away, if they are that close they might as well pull out their dick and wave it around

its like using a sniper rifle against someone thats right in front of you, its just stupid

next, the wizards and witches all practically have an instant killing spell, the wand is basically a gun, bazooka, every fucking thing imaginable in one, the avocado kedavara spell cannot be blocked and is supposed to kill the person instantly,

then why the fuck do the duels last ages, shouldnt they last a second

can't the death eaters all simultaneously cast a killing spell and watch the bodies fall over?

no,, that just wouldnt be aesthetically appealing,

and what about the sword of gryffindor, it looks like a fruitcaking cheap 2 dollar prop from my fucking arsecrack

it looks so bad

you know if i was a wizard, i would just steal other people's wands, i would tie like 10 wands together

thus, when i say stupefy, it comes out of ten wards simultaneously..

did anyone think about that

huh?

and during the interlude, after the first battle, just before harry goes into the forbidden forest

why the fuck are people standing around looking mopey

if i was one of those students, i would seize the opportunity to fuck cho chang at dumbeldores office

( much to the delight of alll the moving paintings)

in fact id just be like okay fuck this, there are literally 300 death eaters, its quite amazing we got this far, lets cut our losses, ride a broom to hogsmede, hire a room and get it on

and also what i found incredibly daunting was that in the harry potter film there are tons of students whom are killed by death eaters, they are lying spreadeagled and scattered across hogwarts, that was rather eerie as it drew comparisons to the norway incident that occurred several days ago in where 80+ children were murdered. I have seen the photos of their bodies littered across the island and they practically mirrored the events which occurred in the film.

anyways the movie was a really big disappointment

and btw i want to marry emma watson

it really disheartens me that the harry potter films did not do justice to JK ROWLING'S literary masterpiece

"harry potter and the deathly hallows?"

more like "harry potter and the waste of time that should show more of emma watson!"

childhood achievements

hello fwends

i wasn't really a special child

even at primary school, i wasnt the star student

nor did i get amazing grades or win any contests

but despite my lack of accolades, i still did achieve certain things

and i gotta admit, i am kinda proud of them

so here we go~

a) one time at bandcamp, i mean school, my mum was driving me back and i really needed to take a shit. so i took a dump in the car and for the duration of the ride i had to stand up in order to not crush teh poo poo

b) one time i was sitting on the table with some other peeps and i felt like vomiting. so i vomited around roughly 5 liters of vagina syrup all across the table and i remember all the kids freaking out and trying to move their lunchboxes before my pool of vomit could get to it,

it was like a freaking tsunami, everyone was shrieking. all the meanwhile im just there attempting to look non-chalant

c) during show and tell, i was standing in the line to show off my first pube when i really needed to go to the toilet however i was too scared to ask my teacher for permission. and back in those days whenever we went to the toilet we had to take a partner. and my partner had no qualms on peeing all over my pants or clashng wands. so anyways i peed and the line of urine went down my pants and came out of the top part of my shoe and the kid sitting at my feet stared at the trail for a while then licked the juice

d) i didnt know how to grip a pencil for a long time so my teacher would attempt to rectify this problem through stickytaping the shit out of my hand onto the pencil. at the end of the day she forgot to take it off so i went home holding a pencil and i found it really hard to piss later on

e) when i lured five female grade twos to the toilets and showed off my pen license. as well as my pen.

what happened next is for me to know and you to find out.

f) in year 10 English, the fire alarm rang and i started screaming and toppling down tables and throwing shit at the fans, lol wait i wasnt a child back then

i miss being a kid, kids literally dont give a shit about what people think of them

as we get older we start to stay well within the constraints of our comfort zone as we are too scared to venture out in the unknown due to the fear of what people would say.

i guess it does help that the fact that "being a kid" can justify a multitude of frivolities but still

too many people dont do the things they want to because apparently "being an adult" is just tooooo cool.

the girl im currently stalking

im not going to lie, i stalk girls

whether its on facebook or real life, if i see an appealing girl i subtly attempt to look at her every chance i get, albiet facebook stalking is so much easier

eye candy tastes better than real candy at times

but they're nowhere near as good as minddcandyy.blogspot.com

anyways! the term stalking might be an exaggeration BUT

today, i expected the train ride to be boring, monotonous and stress-inducing

my day started off bad as this random woman placed her hand firmly on my back in order to push me further into the train so that she could get on

i felt like turning around and smashing her in the face multiple times

thankfully, i temporarily contemplated a future of lawsuits and blah blah

but seriously who the fuck does she thinks he is.

she has no right to touch me, i hate being touched,

then when we reached the next station, i had the fortune to be graced with one of the most beautiful girls ive seen in a long time

she was asian , wearing all back, had heels on, and roughly 165 cm tall

she had a thin nose, very slight double eye lids with mascara and she had neck-length hair

she was about 20-23 years old, possibly a university student

i think i love her

i feel as if i dont talk to her, im going to regret it for the rest of my life

bahahahahahahahahahahaha

i actually plan on taking her mum out for a nice salmon dinner and then never calling her again !

but seriously im going to talk to her and if you see this post disappear in the not too distant future then it just means ive been successful

but sigh the age gap could be like 2-6 years.

but its okay, im pretty mature for my age.. right? ^_^

DOROTHY MANTOOTH IS A SAINT

why we have to date fobs

hey guys,

we are privileged to live in Australia where there is an abundance of natural resources which can be easily relied on in order to fuel our economy

but there is one resource in which barely any of us have tapped into

human resources but more specifically fobs.

asian fobs

now i dont want to generalize

but a huge portion of the fobs you see infesting the various unis are descendants of very very wealthy families

im not talking 6 figures a year, there parents make 7-8 figures a year, they are raking in the yuans

there parents literally have cash lined around the edges of their ass

how else would they pay the ridiculously exorbitant fees that end up sourcing Australia's unique HECS program,

they indirectly pay for all our education

so grit your teeth and go out with one of them

although there may be language barriers, although they may be selfish and incredibly arrogant pricks as a result of the one-child policy

you can really see how the other "side" live

is the grass greener? is the grass tastier? is there a higher concentration of chloroplast over there? or perhaps, that field receives more photosynthesis?

and hey if your lucky, you may marry one of them and live life with financial ease

haha but guys im not promoting gold digging

life is all about accumulating as many experiences as you can

wouldn't that experience be enriched with a bit of rich?

and the small price you pay is your dignity,

a bit of ass-kissing and a perpetual need to satisfy their undying ego

why transformers is a metaphor for the Cold War

I recently watched michael bay's transformers (in which its budget itself is probably the GDP of Samoa)

and i cant help but draw parallels from this epic with the Cold War

The autobots and decepticons essentially represent the two massive super powers, the U.S. and the soviet union

whilst the humans are depicted as weak, near-useless representatives of a proxy nation in a proxy war in which the earth is the battleground

the transformers much like America and the soviet union have technology unmatched by the humans

they deal most of the damage and generally wreak havoc

whilst the humans are pretty shit, always divided and squabbling amongst each other about who makes the decisions (aka communist rule vs capitalist rule)

-have inferior and superfluous technology

but generally they serve their part and make some small contribution in the end due to sheer numbers and guerrilla tactics much like the Viet Cong in the Vietnam War

another factor that substantiates my claim is that where ever the two super powers fight, they cause a shit load of damage, the transformers movie neglects to reveal how many people really die from these colossal battles, if they were shown, the movie would easily be r18+

similarly if we compared the transformers battling with the conflicts that occurred in the cold war in both korea and vietnam, we can see the massive damage the superpowers inflicted during the proxy wars both economically and socially to the proxy country.

but as always since transformers is a hollywood film, America (autobots) triumphs over the evil decepticons (soviet union)

And optimus prime makes some epic speech that justifies all the violence they have enacted at the expense of their human allies.

once again, we can draw this from America's staunch belief that they entered various countries during the cold war in an attempt to save the people and protect them from oppression, when really it was to stem the spread of communism (defeat decepticons)

TRANSFORMERS, COLD WAR IN DISGUISEwhy

why its okay to date ugly people

for those that care in excess about what people think about them OR are very shallow

you probably cant fathom the possibility of dating an ugly person

i mean i cant, i mean imagine waking up staring at the face day in day out, or imagine what people would say when they see you walking arm in arm down a street. OH THE HORROR

but !

here are some reasons to substantiate my hypocritical claim of why its okay to date the Ron Jeremys of this world minus the massive penis size (btw ron jeremy is a really ugly pornstar renowned for his 10+ inch penis, sigh i wish i had a more intelligent audience)

-dating an ugly person is either a positive or negative reflection of your personality. it can remind you that you have either hit a low point in your life and that you must try harder OR remind you that you have reached a certain stage of enlightenment and knowledge where the appearance of a girl does not actually matter to you and you value more unobtainable things like an amazing personality. Consequently this knowledge can either embolden you to be better or serve to reflect on the fact that you are an awesome person.

-ugly people generally try harder, most ugly people are very aware of the fact that they are ugly, although they may be able to temporarily delude themselves and others through a myriad of lotions and potions (makeup and alcohol) all good things come to an end.

And the morning after when you see her in her natural state. your going to wonder, did i really stick my dick in chewbacca? Thus, due to their own knowledge of their downright fear-inducing appearance, they have to compensate by being 1. really intelligent (look at mhs, we're so fucking ugly but yet we're so fucking smart)

2.being a nicer person person, (ugly people dont have the right to be arrogant or mean)

e.g. ugly girl:kenny your a faggot. kenny:lol well, your ugly ... ugly girl:*sniffle sniffle*

3.being better at sports (look at wayne rooney) my god hes ugly.

Furthermore, ugly people are more likely to tolerate all your stupid shit because hey, they cant do that much better and have to settle for second best.

e.g. "honey, would you like to dabble in some sadomasochism" ... "okay, but be gentle" *sniffle sniffle *

-lastly, this is perhaps the most difficult concept to grasp but please do try.

if you think your good looking, why would you need to date another good looking person, i mean isnt your own appearance enough, arent you good looking enough for the ugly person as well.

do you get that? i certainly dont

but it explains the justifications of totally hotties dating/marrying total uggos

but then again, it COULD BE about the benjamins (money)....

brb i just saw my reflection in the toilet bowl and

i

cant

look

away

^_____________^

dealing with MY weight issues

it really disheartens me when i wake up in the morning, plop my feet on the scale and see that i havent gained any weight

it is truly heart breaking,

i mean do you people know how much i eat?

my dietary requirements consist of about 5 kilograms of steak per week, copious amounts of macdonalds

and to top it all off my version of "exercise" consists of vigorously masturbating to a serbian film

but noooo, even after all that jazz, my body just refuses to gain weight, it cant bear the thought of gaining weight

and u know what the insane thing is, i dont eat breakfast and bang, there goes a kilogram (im a fucking poet)

for the past year ive been hovering between 69 kilos to 71 kilos and i cant seem to get myself out of this trap

i just hate it, it seems that the only periods i can actually gain weight is when i grow taller

and seeing as i wont grow vertically any much more, i dont think ill put on any more weight

sigh i hate it when fattie mc fat fats complain about gaining weight

dont you know how hard people with skinny body types like ME have it?

dont you?

you know whats worse when skinny girls say they're fat, the next time a skinny girl says she's fat respond like this

e.g.

jessica alba: im so fat, look at my profile picture, ive gained so much weight

kenny: yea, why dont you lose a few tubby

jessica alba:.....

you'll be guaranteed to not get any rumors showcasing how much of a douchebag you really are.

anyways, for all those out there whom are "big boned"

the next time you big macs look at yourselves in the mirror, ask yourselves this, how would it feel like being a cheeseburger for the rest of your life, how would it feel like having only one paddy, how would it feel.

:( :( :(

i hate fat people

jewish people

hey guys

im sure some of you guys know that i have a deep interest in history

and over the years ive accumulated a certain degree of general knowledge of the history of most countries...well the important ones anyway

and u know what i find common in all ofl them

everyone hates jews

everyone persecutes jews

everyone makes jews the scapegoats

im not just talking about hilter and the holocaust

im talking way back, thousands of years ago, during roman times, fuckn ceaser

during both the french and the russian revolution

fucking egyptian pyramids bro

the majority of europe have ousted jews

jews, have had it rough for a long time

so i think to myself, why does everyone have it in for jews

why are there a shit load of stereotypes and slurs designed to further denigrate jews

and even in the modern century, why do people still attack jews

is it because they supposedly have a larger nose than everyone else?

is it because that so many of them are succesful, hardworking, contributing members to society?

well its simple, everyones jealous

everyone is jealous, that they're not hardworking enough or efficient enough to excel in every facet of life like jews are

they're jealous, cos no matter how hard they try, no matter how hard they attempt to get anywhere in life, they'll never ever beat their fellow jew

and rather than praise them for the myriad of benefits they provide for civilization

people's jealousy turns to anger, and these mere thought processes translates to violent actions

and various rumors are made about jews to further exacerbate the image perpetuated around them

its really a shame, how ignorant some people are

every single jewish person ive met have been friendly, courteous and admirable

and u know whats amazing, many of them dont seem to have a bitter hatred towards a certain race or religion even though they're ancestors have suffered under the brunt of their oppression for thousands of years

no, they forgive and forget their enemies descendants mistakes

israel, a nation that is literally surrounded by its arabic enemies is an economic powerhouse, they have a high human development index too, a high gdp per capita too

Jews, as a collective have contributed the most society, more than every other race and/or religion

and yet people forget that, people forget that the benefits we take for granted every day have in some shape or form been initiated through the mental and physical talents of the anonymous jew

not only do people forget it, they look down upon jews

it just goes to show how people are all faggots and would rather be bitter and hateful about the recognition of a certain demographic rather than to try harder themselves

the next time a hitler esque figure pops out and begins to breed hate, i hope people by then are intelligent enough to be cognizant of the fact that without jews, we would be a mere shadow of what we currently are

how to relieve stress

i know what you faggots are thinking

stop it

just stop it

we've had enough of your shenanigans

you cant wank till you plank everytime you get stressed

its not feasible, plus in this current economic climate tissues are not cheap

neither are bananas

but dw, i got some tricks up my sleeve guaranteed to alleviate some of the pressures of year 12 and/or professional life

numero uno: alcohol

guys well, okay ive got nothing, i dont drink alcohol, dont plan on starting it anytime soon

you know why? because i dont really relish the opportunity to get drunk, have sex with a fat girl and wear a lampshade as a hat whilst playing yu gi oh, it just doesnt appeal to me

but alcohol is used by like 95 percent of the population, so i guess it does work

but be mindful that, alcohol may have an unsurprising ability to make you more stressed

oh and also if you drink alcohol during childbirth, its really good for your kids

gives them super powers..

numero duo: clubbing

okay guys, im sorry but i still have nothing, ive never been clubbing before but my closest experience is the mhs senior social and yea it was fun, but clubbing usually involves alcohol, teosterone-seething alpha males and overly slutty girls with daddy problems, none of which was present at our recent social, so dunno

toi: playing computer games

lol, wow, i dont even play computer games

apart from plants vs zombies (which happens to be freaking amazing)

but whenever i attend the occasional lan sesh, its pretty sweet

the feeling of satisfaction when i penetrate my opponents skull with my metaphorical penis is close to euphoria

last but not least

quatre: sexual activities

i have to say guys that this is the most efficient and least time-consuming way to relieve stress

who cares about the feelings of the other person, i mean we're all so self-possessed and arrogant it doesnt matter right, as long as we free ourselves of our temporary stress, the emotional damage we imbue to our partners is irrelevant. right. for the greater good. for the africans

anyways, the truth is

theres no way to relieve stress, its always going to be there

better to harness that energy to facilitate future progress rather than to let it get to you

and do not

EVER LET IT GET TO YOU

okay ive done some fucked up shit when i was stressed

my need for closure has led me to engage in some frivolous activities

so im telling you now,

id rather you wank till you plank then to do something you'd really regret.

*a lone tear slides down his cheek and stops momentarily before descending even further, the boy carefully rubs his hands with this natural concoction and caresses his most vital organ, the night is young and for a moment, he can forget about his worries, his stresses, his fears, his expectations, but the moment never lasts long and the relief? ... only slightly longer

camp

i love camp

the food is delicious, the activities are great, the wildlife is soothing,

but apart from that, camp is an opportunity to see the true nature of your friends

because camp is one of the closest situations we as teenagers have to a "difficult" situation

camp essentially is a test which differentiates between the strong and the weak

and being "strong" isnt necessarily defined through physical prowess, its a mental game as well.

there are times at camp when you get so exhausted, you feel like giving up, you feel like chucking away your pack and burying your head in the dirt.

yet you have to go on, you must go on.

now, theres an old saying that the true personalities of people come out in tough, difficult and undesirable situations

you can see how some of your closest friends will react when basically they're stripped of their comfortability, happiness and to a certain degree sanity

cos during camp, when people are very fatigued, they're more likely to say brash or unreasonable things,

things that they wouldnt otherwise say when your both dandy

so how does this tie in with relationships, well basically you have to test your friends or your lovers through taking them on a camp or going camping

you can put yourselves both in an undesirable situation and you can see how each other reacts and if your partner doesn't act accordingly and you see a hidden, "weak" side,

then you might wanna contemplate a change.

knowing the limits and the mental stability of your friends and lovers is vital in the sustainability of your relationships with them.

some people are just naturally quitters and when they are faced with the heat of battle, they melt away

these people, no matter how endearing they are during times of peace, they are just not worth your time and effort.

they'll be the first to back out on you when your life turns to shit.

and believe me, no mater how much dick you've sucked (metaphorically and physically) or how fat your daddy's wallet is

you will eventually reach that minimum point and getting through that trough is much easier if you have some close, trustworthy and loyal friends by your side

in addition, during the camping phase, when your partner is having trouble, you can also help them out which would just make you look like an awesome guy,

forging and honing relationships through physical exertion is one that is not likely forgotten,

the emotions associated with those events remain strongly embedded in your psyche, the stress, the pain, the feeling of elation when you and your friends have finally crossed that metaphorical hill.

why do you think sports teams and soldiers generally remain cohesive even after they retire?

and you know what the amazing thing is

after you get through it all, you feel a sense of fulfillment unmatched by even a plethora of a+ sacs

even if your partner fails dismally just the fact that you made it through should provide you with some solace, it is after a reflection of your own strength, your perseverance, your ability to make the best out of a negative situation

and if your female partner makes it through,

then maybe you've found yourself a keeper

or maybe you should prepare for a lifetime of inadequacy, domination, emasculation and awkward looks from your children's friends when they see you roaming around the kitchen draped in a where's wally apron.

however, this method only works if your relatively "fit"

so for you mhs guys, dont even attempt it

you'll just end up making a fool out of yoself !

what are humans good at?

what are humans good at

i mean what are we really exceptional at

what's something that aliens from space can look at us and be like

damn, we do not want to fuck with them

actually humans arent good at that many things

it all boils down to three things

we humans are amazing at

1. sex

2. war (killing)

3. producing and consuming food

1. sex

humans fuck alot, we fuck so much that our planet cannot cope with it

its the reason why china has the one child policy and the reasons why contraceptives are so widespread

all we do is fuck and fuck and fuck and fuck and fuck and as we speak, there are probably tons of people depositing their semen into a hole

not only that, normal sex isnt good enough for us

we have to dabble in a bit of anal sex, maybe fisting, maybe beastiality,

oh no, having sex with other humans isnt good enough for us, we have to attempt to fuck inanimate objects, and cartoon characters

do you know how big the prostitution industry is.

do you know how much black market sex there is.

human trafficking for the sole purpose of sex is consistently increasing

no wonder why prostitution is deemed as the oldest profession, its also recession proof !

i think its clear to say, humans like sex and more importantly, as a species, as a collective, we're good at it

2. war

most countries place a huge portion of their GDP towards the maintenance, creation and purchase of weapons

if you look at history, all humans ever do is fight

even with barriers like religion and so called morals, when it gets down into the nitty gritty

humans fight and there pretty good at it too

and now with modern technology, its pretty easy to fight

we no longer have to go around waving swords and hope it lands on someones head

we can just drop a bomb, hope for the best

and justify it as "oh, sorry about that guys, we were hoping to stop communism, oh what, millions of people died? haha communism is so stupid, capitalism ftw"

3. food

humans are a variant of cancer, all we ever do is consume

and if we're not consuming, we devise methods to make whatver it is that we're eating. be more edible

its the reason why stupid shows like "master chef" are so appealing

goddamn, does anyone really watch that show

i know the ending to every masterchef show, some guy makes a slightly innovative food, the judges congratulate him, flashback to some traumatic moment of that person's past, the guy is so moved and starts to cry. fin

mate its just food, you didnt discover the cure for cancer, wipe your tears and stop embarrassing yourself on national tv

ANYWHOO

do you know what every country is good at doing

and thats making yummy food

the Thais may not have a massive economy like america but they sure make a killer pad thai !

same goes for mexicans and pretty much everyone else

in fact, if every person experienced the cuisine of every country in the world, pretty sure racism would decline significantly

so there we go guys, if you feel like your not good at anything

then try your hand at one of those things,

fuck someone, fight someone or feed someone

i guarantee, that you'd be formidable in at least one of them

staring at girls with big boobs

hey fwends

as per usual, i was standing on the train waiting to get to school

just a standard day, nothing too interesting to look at

except the girl with massive breasticles in front of me

im sure you guys are all aware of the risks we take to gaze upon such unique lumps of fats and i was no exception

yet boobs have a tendency to make everything awkward

it was a back and forth process of glancing at her tits, then looking away

then looking at her tits again and then when we make eye contact, quickly looking at the roof pretending to be in deep thoughts, humming the pokemon theme song

it was onerous as fuck

i actually wish i wasn't attracted to boobs, i mean ive seen like at least a million pairs online and my own pair offline, shouldnt i be desensitized to them?

but sadly no, there is just something about them,

they're inherently intriguing and even after thousands of years of evolution, poetry, intelligence and civilisation

it still amazes me that we males continue to be consistently attracted to a feature that serves practically no sexual purpose

but you know what does serve a purpose, the comment question of the day

haha ray wiliam Johnson you fucking faggot

also, id like to clarify some shit

men arent attracted to mammary glands in their natural state,

they're not that amazing when unhinged and naked before our eyes

boobs are most appealing when its comfortably positioned by the bra with only particular segments of it being showcased

sometimes the parts are more important than the whole

as for the 5 billion asian girls that dont have boobs

take solace in the fact that personality is something that can be observed

lol.

girls are such hyppocrites

what are girls?

why are they shooo mean

anyways.

in the 21st century, there are a myriad of laws and codes that guide us to identify desirable behaviour

now a more recent one, is discrimination based on gender

now dont get me wrong, im pro-feminist,

im so feminist that i dont open doors for girls and i beat women up :)

now there lies the root of the problem

if we lived in a truly equal society

men would find it mentally acceptable to hit a girl as hard as they hit guys

however if a guy does do that, girls shriek "girl-basher, violence against women the earth says no"

the thing is women want all these rights, they want the right to be sexually promiscuous without having the fear of being branded a slut,

they want to be promoted as much as men,

they want to have sex when they feel like it rather then giving it away to sustain the relationship

yet girls also want guys to treat them like a queen,

girls want to be protected

they want guys to buy them flowers, pay for dinners, open doors and blah blah

now a gentlemen buying a girl is flowers is indeed chivalrous yet it is also a sign that he is a product of a deeply, subtly sexist society that seeks to further oppress women.

the line between chivalry and sexism is very very blurred

why does the girl need flowers? why does the guy need to buy her dinner?

do guys buy other guys dinners?

ill give you a scenario

if a stranger hit your brother

and a stranger hit your sister

would you be more angry that the stranger hit your sister or your brother?

so this basically translates to feminism equaling the death of chivalry

the more feminists get rights, the less men would treat them like girls

as girls would get more promiscuous, the less men have to work to have them as being a sluzzball mc fat fat is more socially acceptable

as a result, the price for pussy has decreased as they have been practically flooded into the market

men no longer need to work for pussy, they dont have to open doors, buy flowers or take you out for dinner

because they dont need to

if vaginas were a stock, it would be worthless because there is too much of a surplus for it,

it would plummet and lose value which ironically

would then result in the objectification of women and a greater suppression of womans rights

as men would perceive chicks as more material objects then people

because thats what sex does, it devalues people, it temporarily turns them into an object of pleasure,

thus leading women to be objects, feminist behaviour and then all freaking over again

do you see where this is going?

it is a vicious cycle

the circle.... THE CIRCLE OF LIFE

INSDINFIASNDFASNDF BALA

but to be honest, this society of deeply ingrained covert sexism works, it appeals to everyone,

men and women are progressively becoming equal in many aspects which is a very good thing

but as long as men and women retain these attitudes in regards to love and etiquette,

true sexism would never be eradicated as it is just too confusing

overall, men and women will never be equal because there are men and there are women

the way you dress

just casually waiting for my train, i see a girl dressed like a hoe standing next to me

therefore shes a hoe right?

wrongggg

shes not a hoe

however, to the untrained eye, judging by her appearance, the deep mascara, the skirt you could pass off as a belt and the thin alluring lips that scream 'i want penis' , she looks pretty freaking willing.

guys, i cannot stress the importance of being able to develop the skill to extract a chick's personality purely by the way she dresses

and its pretty freaking hard

especially in the 21st century, with rampant materialism and sluts being a generally accepted species in society,

i understand your pain

because people make assumptions based on how one dresses, one's dress can either command authority/respect E.G. police uniform, suits

OR

spell low socio-economic status and general faggotry e.g. nike airforces, trackies, country road bags

so how does this tie in with hoes

if you look like a sluzball, then prepare to be treated like one

prepare to get flattered,

prepare to get complimented and prepare the inevitable penis that would slide down ur slit

and also

prepare for the walk of shame back home, prepare to waking up by yourself in the morning,

prepare for a drizzle of liquid down your face that your damn sure is not just "morning drool"

however, if a girl dresses like a hoe and is not actually a hoe

guys, you have to understand that this girl is probably one who has low self esteem, probably lonely, wants a lover, wants attention and etc.

you have to act in an appropriate manner

because thats how some people justify rape

in addition

there are subtle discrepancies between fake hoes and real hoes,

but alas, i cant tell the difference either

name change

hey guys, so i changed the name of my blog and some of you may be wondering why

i chose the name "mind candy" because this blog is more than just a vehicle to express my ramblings, insecurities, thoughts and opinions, its a device created in order to enrich, revitalize and reassess your own perceptions of life and events.
ive likened it to like candy or lollies for the mind because i attempt to give (not thrust) you ideas written in a facetious format that is both appealing and yummy to myself and my audience
think of it like the city newspaper, the MX, its not supposed to bombard you with statistics but more light-hearted satire and/or black humour

Moreover, some people have been critical for the writing style i have adopted,
the way i dont use punctuation and how its not structured properly
i have utilized this style as it represents the archetypal "mind"
the mind is not logical nor is it coherent, it is usually a huge blob of emotions and feelings intertwined together just floating around in a humming space that is our psyche

as for the extra "d" and the extra "y"
some vagina faces had already chosen those links.

anyways, guys spread the word because ive been looking at the world economy, demand and supply and the one thing we are severely in need of is recognition, recognition for ME
so spread the gospel, tell it the masses because my need for attention, my narcissism, requires it.

true loves

do you guys believe in "true love?"

do you guys believe that out there in this world, there is one man or woman destined to be with you

a person so perfect that she/he would satisfy every physical, emotional, financial, need

well i do

but i reckon more along the line that there are true loves

okay but how do we quantify something like this

after about 30 seconds of rigorous thinking, i tallied the results and this is what i got.

firstly to find your love if you are a boy and you are not gay

you get rid of all the males in this world

thats like 3 billion people left (thank sexism for that)

then u get rid of all the chicks u dont find attractive ethnically speaking

that leaves like several hundreds of million people

then you get rid of all the people in this world you will never have the chance of meeting because this world is just too massive

then lets say i get rid of all the girls that are below a certain height requirement sooo anyone below 165-170 cm

then out of that group i get rid of all the dumb people

omg guys, do you realise that university is basically a modern interpretation of natural selection

yay maybe ill find a girl that is both smart and purdy

anyways that leaves like several tens of thousands

then out of those, pick all the people that have personalities that your personality finds desirable

that leaves like,,, 20 to maybe 50 girls, ideals in this world

so there we go, depending on your personality, there is an average of 20 to 50 girls that would be best suited for you

and the thing is, we dont know who they are

we dont know what they look like or how they will come to us

so in order to find them, i emphasize the importance of timing

if u meet the ideal girl but u meet her in an awkward situation

then ull never be with her

e.g. if u meet her when u have to take a shit and ur waiting for the bus

and some hot girl smiles at you whilst ur attempting to not embarrass yourself in public

in any other scenario when u may have approach the aforementioned girl, u may have got her number, and fallen in love

however, since ur priorities were focused on ur bowel movements u couldnt

then bam a chance is gone

thats why peeps if you think uve met one of ur ideals, one of ur true loves,

however, slim the chance may be, then stick to it and keep her close

i guess thats why so many people cheat but then again that is also contingent on timing

e.g. you meet a girl whilst you and your girlfriend are having a fight

anyways whats saddening is that in a rapidly growing world, although our chance of meeting anyone grows, the probability of meeting our ideals continues to shrink.

i like bikes

hey guys

i had a pretty weird experience today

i was on the train ride back from school with some friends when a bicycle propped up on one of the support thingymabobs fell over

and naturally since its a packed train, it starts to make things awfully uncomfortable as it crashes into nearby ovaries

so since i was the closest one to it, i grabbed the bike and held it in position

all the while i was wondering who owned this bike and it led me to the assumption that someone forgot to take their bike when he/she left the train

but just to be sure i started asking people on the train " does anyone own this bike"

"cos if no one does, im gonna take it"

so when i got to my station, i wheeled it out the carriage whilst all the passengers were laughing and rode it back home

now ive just reached my front door and im pretty happy cos i forgot how much fun riding a bike was

nostalgia bro

when my phone rings and one of my friends is like "the owner of the bike woke up and hes pretty angry"

and i was like oooh shit, ooh shit, this guys gonna beat me up for taking his bike

if i get beaten up how will i do well for my methods sac :(

so i went into the house and bought 10 dollars just in case i had to bribe him

the guy then calls me up (cos he got my phone details from a friend) and tells me to meet him at the station

so i rode the bike to the station and there he is

a chinese fob in a fluro orange labourer's uniform

i immediately start apologising saying that i didnt realise the bike had an owner

but then he cuts me off by shaking my hand, patting my back and pulling out his wallet

he then pulls out a 20 dollar and attempts to give it to me

im like "nonono, it was my fault, im so sorry"

and after some more pushing and shoving, he reluctantly puts the money back in his wallet and thanks me once more

its funny cos that bike didnt even look like it was worth 20 dollars

anyways, i realized that i should have never taken the bike from the train

and that nothing in life is free

but it was so surprising to see a situation like this turn around

i actually assumed the worst and thought i was going to get beaten up

but fortunately in the end, all that that man and i really lost is time

war of the worlds

you know in those movies where crowds of people are screaming

like in war of the worlds, when the tripods emerge and eveyrones panicking and running in all different directions,turning into dust, ruining tom cruise's hair and all that jazz

well, if something like that happened in melbourne in the school oval at mhs and im one of the first onlookers

im not going to run

no sir, im not

im going to take off all my clothes and fucking climb that tripod

and when that tripod throws me off and aims its laz0r beams at me

im going to start jacking off and try and slay the one-eyed dragon before i face my demise

who knows, i might actually pull some globules off which might have some secret ability to burn through the tripods armor and eventually save the world

i could be humanity's hero

i mean who would've thought to have done that, no one

no one could jack off on something that is walking around killing everyone

but not this guy, this guys got it all planned

so when judgement day comes and everyones burning to ashes

dont disturb me when im trying to do my thang

who knows, it just might save you

howdidigetsocool.tumblr.com

keyboard warriors!!!!111oneoneone

keyboard warriors are basically people that act tough on the internet but are serious weak dipshits in real life ill give u a basic rundown of their life,

they were born to parents who happened to be siblings, thus the keyboard warriors ended up lacking a few chromosomes.

however, ther childhood was fairly decent and only occasionally were they raped and taunted for their hideous face, the they then discovered the internet and grew a fetish for gay and/or hentai porn.

Consequently, they consistently went over their monthly 2 gigabyte limit and decided that the internet has other uses less costly uses. They then dedicated a significant portion of their time towards attacking people, the rest as they say is history anyways,

on a side note i farted like 10 times in english but no one noticed. i never get credit for anything :(

brb i have to attend a klan meeting, whop forgot my mask

god knows what would happen if they found out im asian

life is complicated

life is complicated

okay let me rephrase that

life is complicated for people with ambition

people with ambition have to take into account a multitude of things in regards to their life

whether that ambition be getting a good atar for vce or being able to satisfy your girlfriend in the bedroom

it is hardly surprising to know that shit like this complicates life

people with ambition think alot and thinking excessively is very detrimental to ones life and confidence

because thinkers, think about the problems in this world, all the problems they have encountered, all the problems they have yet to encounter and all the problems that they are enduring right now

and they blow it up in their minds and dwell on the consequences of every cause and every effect

overall, thinking causes stress, people with ambition have the burden of knowledge

i will give you guys my own personal experiences

These are some of the thoughts that cross my mind daily and despite these thoughts being mere mental processes, they have the ability to physically tire me out and instill apathy in moi

1. Every time i leave the house, im scared that i left the electric blanket on and its going to burn my house. Thus resulting in me joining the local strip club to help pay the bills

2. That my family will die

3. A civil war on the Korean peninsula

4. Ill never meet my perfect girl

5. ill never achieve perfect skin

6. Ill fail VCE

7. why is our world so fucked up

8. will i get raped by an "insert minority" tonight?

yadayada, those are probably the main ones and since ive purged my facebook friends to ensure that i havent befriended any dumb peeps, im sure you guys have a similar plethora of problems too. right?

now, i want to be successful in life, i want to be known and recognized, i want over 9000 people in my funeral, haha get it, i want people outside of my family to weep uncontrollably during my funeral

omg thought of best idea for a funeral, instead of lying in a casket, ill sleep in a customised toilet bowl

ill be resting in style.

anyways, really the only way to achieve anything worthwhile in life is through thinking

because thinking translates your thoughts to processes

how can we do something without thinking about it first, right?

however, thinking causes stress

so do you see whats happening here, success and stress walk hand in hand

its another cycle, a whirlpool of dualities

and stress despite being a stimulant at times is primarily a de-motivator which has the ability to overpower us

it makes us feel apathetic, i mean whats the point of studying hard and trying to be successful

there are so many problems in this world and our life could be snatched away at any second, even if you try, you can still fail

why try

why even bother

lifes too short, blah blah

but you have to try, life is longer than you think and due to recent advancements in toilet facilities, our lives are only going to get longer,

anyways to clarify some shizz, i hope you guys dont think im some complacent faggot for saying that life is complicated

i am well aware how more "complicated" life is for others but im simply taking a different tack to it

it depends on your interpretation of "complicated"

complicated could mean dealing with abusive parents and drug-dealing siblings

complicated could also mean "all of the above"

A man once told me that life is simple

that man then promptly asked me "would you like fries with that"

i dont want to be that man and neither do you

that same man also said "go to kennypp.blogspot.com, so you dont end up like me" and "follow me on howdidigetsocool.tumblr.com"

true story

formal

hey guys, i dont usually write about personal experiences on my blog
but just today, i will deviate from the norms in order to show you how sexy jenny and i were
oh dear, how do i upload photos
oh there we go
will upload more later
actually depends on how good i look in them :D

the past

the past

instead of revising for the bazillions of sacs coming up
i spent a good two hours poring through photos of myself when i was 5-10 years old
and i gotta say
i am one handsome motherfucker
i might even upload some pics later on, provided that you faggots dont use it for ulterior motives that would result in a nearby bin being slightly heavier than before and you being slightly happier than before.
anyways, you guys should look through older photos of yourself
im sure you have some photo albums somewhere so just spend several minutes browsing through the photos
it gives one immense satisfaction and joy
i dont even know why, maybe its the faces of children
god children are attractive
every child is attractive, a child might grow up to be the ugliest zubat in kanto but when he/she is a child, children just retain their beauty
i have also realized that my personality hasn't changed that much over the years,
in 9 out of 10 photos, i am pulling a stupid face, taunting my sister or attempting to catch a seagull
sigh, i miss those times
the times when i could actually run around naked and suffer no consequences
oh wait, i still do that now

my sexual encounter with animals

Ever since I was wee lad ive always had a strong sexual desire for animals.

The standard horse or donkey you occasionally see in the porn industry was not my cup of tea.

I didn’t like that kind of tension

I preferred domestic animals such as cats or dogs. My first experience was when I was playing piano at a ten years old. Then out of the corner of my eye a cat began performing cartwheels. Frankly I was amazed.

Then I proceeded towards the cat and slowly pulled down my pants.

Nestled beneath my underwear was a 3.14159 cm erection which I then pierced into the cat’s ears.

HOLY FUCK WHY AM I WRITING SOMETHING SO FUCKING DISGUSTING (to be continued)

anyways guys this blog got deleted from my facebook ages ago for its vulgar content

but i re-uplpoaded because im a rebel

a rebel without a kennypp.blogspot.com

there is an apocalypse in my pants and you're invited to it ;)

yesterday

apparently some religious vagina face predicted that the world was going to end and blah blah

yet here we stand,

living, breathing, fucking, eating

sometimes all at the same time

and who said we humans were bad at multi tasking !

now this isnt the first time that someone has said that we were all going to die

i mean a couple of years back i remember some douchebag saying that there was some atomic reactor that would create a black hole and blah blah

but nothing ever happened

all that happened was me cowering under my bed trying to get my soldier to salute one last time, BUT I COUDLNT BECAUSE I WAS TOO SCARED *SADFACE

anyways, sooner or later

someone with alot of credibility and authority is going to predict our demise

and we're going to believe it and whether or not that person was right

it wont matter because in the end, we will still face the end

and ill tell you why

we humans are intrinsically destructive people

i mean we're more animal then "human"

it is the reason why we're at the top of the food chain

although we aren't necessarily armed with the sharpest claws or the largest teeth

we have something else

and thats intelligence

and with this intelligence we go around raping and fucking everything till theres nothing left

and thats the way its always been,

its the reason why dogs are our pets and the reason why i like me steak medium-rare

humans dont just survive, they thrive

yet as time progresses, we have developed a myriad of laws and codes that have been designed to point us in the right direction in terms of moral behaviour

these beliefs and such prevent our animal instincts from appearing too much

and this sort of moral behaviour can only be applied when we know we have something to lose

when there is a guaranteed system of consequences that would afflict us if we step out of line

that system could either be religion and the threat of eternal damnation getting buttraped by ron jeremy in hell or

that system could be law and the threat of 80 years of getting buttraped in prison

however, what happens when this system that provides a framework of what we consider right or wrong breaks down

what we have is anarchy and the loss of hope

and humans are most insane when they are aware of their impending doom

doesnt help much that hope is the most formidable barrier to insanity

what happens when every ounce of hope we have is destroyed?

what happens when we truly believe that we are going to die?

the second we truly believe that we are going to die is the day we will actually die

because if we're left to our own devices, we will fuck shit up

if all the leaders of the world met up and say

"haii guys, the world is going to end tomorrow and we cant do anything about it"

regardless of whether they're right or not, in that brief gap of time we have before real or imagined extinction,

we humans will extinct each other

everything that we couldnt do because of laws, ethics, commandments and such,

we would do,

except me, im a good boy

now thankfully, we havent faced the threat of extinction, yet

so no one is too sure how anyone would react

im just assuming shit because im a pranoid carrot-cake whos hobbies consist of drawing cubes and watching starcraft replays

but just look back through history and observe all the atrocities and horrors that have occurred

it wouldnt be a strech of the imagination to envisage how capable we as humans are of wreaking havoc

anyways

mum says chocolate isnt good for dogs but you can have the rest of my kennypp.blogspot.com

how to look good naked

now im sure the majority of you folks arent pleased with yourselves naked
what do you see?
is it a doughy, unhealthy physique lined with pockets of fat?
perhaps
maybe its just skin and bones
however, one thing remains clear, you are unhappy with the way you look unclothed
now, before you guys think that im acting all high and mighty
i too originally was pretty unhappy with what i saw
my body is too skinny, my legs are too thin
my nipples are misaligned with one aerola slightly more brown than the other
my stomach has a stomach which recently gave birth to another stomach
and i have stretch marks running across my thighs
its not a pleasant look
anyways, being the master guru that i am, im going to teach you how to look good naked
the answer is to just not wear clothes around the house
as soon as i even approach my front door, my pants are parshly gone and as soon as i get one foot in, my tie is undone
i eat dinner with my family only wearing underwear, i do my homework only wearing underwear
i watch angry boys only wearing underwear
and you know what, im writing this note only wearing my underwear ;)
and gradually over time, you get used to your body,
you get comfortable with it and later on you'll begin to appreciate it
ill be like "oh body, your looking mighty fresh today"
and ill take deep breaths to simulate my stomach saying " hehe yea, straight back at you, face"
but anyways, although its obscured by clothes half the time, your body does matter
sooner or later, your gonna have to show it
so instead of resorting to wearing a shirt the next time you go to the beach
just show your body because if you can appreciate it, others can too
HAHA who am i kidding, if your fat, wear a shirt, seriously, its a health hazard bro
am i too mean? maybe
does this face care? no