blood

hey frands

today i donated blood and as i laid there waiting for this machine to harvest my life essence

i see beds upon beds of valiant mhs students all doing the same thing

and i think to myself, despite the vast discrepancies of humans in terms of our appearance

there is a mutual matter that exists among all of us and this substance courses through our very veins

this rich, pure, red blood

yea sure, we have different coloured skin, different shaped eyes, noses and mouths BUT

this red liquid is something that is common amongst ALL humans

so i propose a name to change to our species

the word "humans" sounds bland, sounds boring and doesn't encapsulate the similarities of our species

perhaps we should call ourselves, The Reds, Redlings, Reddites, Red Rangers, Little Red Riding Hoods

something along those lines and despite the communist connotations

i think its time we prioritize the problems of this world

Im pretty sure a name change for our species ranks far above minuscule problems such as world poverty and war

those things can take a back seat :)

regardless, i urge all you folks to donate blood

the next time you have a blood nose, get a vial and scoop de doop

but seriously, blood is literally the easiest thing to donate

it really isnt that much of an ask

you know, when im penetrating your girlfriend and i somehow manage to break her fallopian tube thereby causing severe blood leakages

shes gonna need blood

and mate, blood doesnt grow on trees

it grows on the fat of you seedy, materialistic capitalists

men are slaves to their sex drives

hello everyone

how many times have you done something that you wouldn't otherwise do but did because you were fueled by your sex drive

how many times have you done something that you know you will end up regretting but still did it anyway

the thing is with horniness, as soon as you discharge, depending on the nature of your relationship with the girl, you can feel this thing called guilt

anyways, back to the point, when your in the zone, the zone before you discharge,

you are basically on your own unique drug because you act uncharacteristically

horniness is practically a drug, its addictive, feels good and can result in some pretty negative things

so, how do you control your sex drive

i used to think a sex drive was like driving a car

practically "fuel" consists of getting your dick sucked or hooking up with a girl or having kinky clown sex with a girl

And every now and then you have to fuel your car, whilst the car acts as a sort of metaphor for your mind, your sanity, if the car doesnt receive enough fuel it doesnt go anywhere, it just stands motionless, picking up dust and getting vandalized by hooligans and overall living a meaningless life.

i mean whats the purpose of a car, it is a device created to get from A to B, if its not going anywhere the car is essentially being denied of its very nature. I thought i was a car man. A fucking lexus that runs on fossil fuels none of that ethanol bullshit which is harvested by the blood, sweat and toil of south american innocents.

whoah that was off track, just like the car is off track.... cos its not driving, its off track, get it. IM FUNNY DAMMIT

thats why i dont understand those asexual nerds who dont seem to need this source of relief

they seem to be perfectly content with not having a girlfriend or any girls to chase

is it the distant dream of becoming a successful CEO and then having plenty of girls

or are there really more asexual people than we'd like to think

moving on.

i thought for me to function normally in society and for me to not get too crazy or desperate,

i had to have a certain dose of sexual activities with a girl, whoever it may be

however, the problem lies with that is that there arent a line of girls who are willing to fuel me.

now this theory may be true to an extent however mostly its not

horniness isnt something you can satisfy in the long term, its not,

you just cant do something and hope it gets "out of your system"

its always there, its always prevalent and no matter how many bodily interactions you have with the opposite sex,

it may not be enough, in fact for guys with addictive personalities it might have the opposite effect.

so the answer lies in being able to harness your sex drive and redirecting that energy to more positive means.

You could redirect all that youthful vitality towards the accomplishment of your homework

another solution could be to get a girlfriend whom you love and have ample amounts of sex with her so you dont feel guilty

i mean, even looking at the people around me it seems that those individuals with girlfriends are either

a) fucking up on everything OR

b) owning it up

it may be a risk but i guess a triple cheeseburger for your psyche could be that the best way to function as a normal, bright, intelligent and active citizen is through having a lover but until then, although being a slave to your sex drive may be a bad thing, its better than having no sex drive

economic value of sluts

being the keen economist that i am

ive decided to analyze sluts and their impact on the economy

so what are sluts

well they generally populate gloria jeans, night clubs and malls

and can be seen with a cock in one hand and your dignity in the other

right. anywhooo

sluts dont facilitate the need for spending

unlike dating, you dont have to buy them them gifts or go on dates in order to boink them

as they give it away for nothing, they're basically goods, goods that can talk and do other, less innocuous things

hence, relative to dating and courtship, these sluts decrease private consumption and therefore aggregate demand

the only real use a slut is for her to bloom into a prostitute

then theyd be contributing to the economy but then again their impact would not be seen, as alot of prostitution is underground, black-market activity and thus not recorded in our annual GDP figures

nevertheless, much like immigrants, lol

we need sluts, they maintain our sanity and ensure that we dont attain the burden or shame of going to a prostitute

not everybody has the time or stamina to undergo a lengthy process of phone calls, corny gifts and constant loss of dignity for the hope that they may receive an awkward turtle kiss after dinner

yet in the long run, sluts erode the likelihood of families

why? because no one wants to marry sluts because they're too insecure about their ability to make "love" with someone whos made "love" with lots of "loves"

marriage is good for our economy as it usually equals children

children need food, xboxes, tampons, blankets, french tapestry

parents must cater to their offspring's needs through working long hours and feigning appreciation for their children's morbid depiction of a butterfly painting

the combination of these two activities fuel the economy, this back and forth process of buying and selling goods/services shreds further evidence to the fact that families are an integral component of every functional economy

more sluts = less families = restricted population growth = labour shortages = increased inflow of immigrants = london riots

therefore, from an economic point of view, i think its safe to say that sluts are detrimental towards our economy

my son, its beautiful, you are sure to give Mr Gogh a run for his money

anarchy in the UK

unless you guys have been living under a rock for the past days

im sure you've realized whats happening in london right now

the riots..

now im not too sure on the specifics but apparently a man shot at a police officer, missed

to which the police officer fired back and hit

there was a peaceful demonstration from the dead man's families which eventually developed into a riot that is continuing to spread from suburb to suburb today

now what are the causes of the riots?

is it cos the man was shot, is it cos the police supposedly have too much power?

well, its none of that

what fuels the cogs and gears for the riot is rage and humanity's intrinsic love for violence

and the horrid thing is, this fuel is nearly limitless

i doubt half the people there are even aware of what started it and are simply joining for the pure fun of it

there are people looting, smashing down windows, stealing from other people

thats pure, unadulterated anarchy, there is no order to it, there is no enlightened belief, no final goal

the ends dont justify the means because there arent any means and there arent any ends

it just shreds further evidence to the notion that if people are cognizant of the fact that there wont be any ramifications to their undesirable actions, they'll have no qualms about performing them

but i gotta admit, it looks like alot of fun

not the rioting

but the fun in being a riot cop

smashing down these low socioeconomic filth who pay lilliputian taxes who then loot from small shop keepers on the basis that its due to the government's lack of welfare benefits

it looks fun, the only downside of being a riot cop is that because people are so "democratic" nowadays and there are consequences for even the most minuscule things, the police's authority have been severely reduced

in order to get "order" and some modicum of peace back into london, it is fairly obvious that the police have to implement harsher tactics

why dont they bring in a fire truck and hose the rioters down like they did to the chocolate people in the U.S.

England, where are your fucking balls

leaderless, mindless, acts of violence can ultimately only be thwarted by violence

it appears that thousands of years of evolution and civilization has bypassed these rioters

so its safe to classify them as apes, semi sentinent apes

what happens to the apes in "planet of the apes?"

they get fucking massacred

OMG, FUCK I WANT TO BE A RIOT COP

what i do when im horny

even i have to admit that i do indeed get horny at times

and do you know how i subdue my raging boner

its quite simple

i dont watch porn, i used to, but after downloading 200 gigs worth, you start to realise that theres more to life than hentai and tentacle rape

i simply go to the local florist and buy several daffodils

then i tenderly plant them in my front yard and pat them

*pat, pat, pat

then i go AHHHHHH, make a big yawn

and im spent :)

wasnt that productive :)

i hate nice people

do you know what i hate about nice people?

they're nice to everyone

you dont deserve their generosity, they just thrust it to you, it seems so fake

doesnt make you feel valued at all

because whats the point, they're nice to EVERYONE

since you don't have the work for them to be "nice" to you, the whole relationship seems pointless

and nice people can't seem to say no to anything

i mean, i dont want them to agree with me on every single fucking thing i say

can't they voice their own opinions and such

ultimately, nice people are pathetic

everyone needs some degree of hate in them

and being purely nice will not get you anywhere in life

in fact the world is a cruel cruel place

they dont call it survival of the fittest for no reason.

and this is why nice girls and guys will consistently come last

think of it like this

lets say two girls like you

one of them is really nice and the other one is kinda bitchy

the bitchy one beats the shit out of the nice one

then professes her love for you

the bitchy one is willing to hurt her closest threat in order to gain your affection

who is more endearing?

who is capable of loving you more?