Do the Creep

Thursday, September 15, 2011

picking up girls through facebook

picture this scenario

you meet a hot girl at a party

you hit it off and you fluff around for a little and talk about irrelevant things cos its a party after all

the next day, bam, you see her facebook request

and while your frolicking happily due to the realization that you may get your dick wet the sudden REAL realization that you know NOTHING about this girl hits you, you dont know how to act, you dont know what to say, blah blah

so what to do

well, folks, take advantage of the 21st century

we're not caveman, we dont actually have to have lengthy conversations with the person to get to know them

in fact, sometimes, facebook or other online platforms that convey some modicum of information about the person is usually more representative of their personality than the bullshit that comes out of their mouth

first thing is to scour their facebook and interpret the information you find to create a visual skeleton of their personality,

look at the amount of likes they receive for their photos or statuses to determine their social status

look at the amount of boys or girls that wallpost them and decipher whether their competitors or just faggots that like to spam walls

look at the sort of groups/links they "like," see whether you have similar humour

look at the sort of music they listen to

when you eventually talk through that ridiculously inconvenient channel that is facebook chat, you can subtly discuss music interests and when she says, "oh i like linkin park" you can be like "OHH, linkin park, THEY'RE MY FAVOURITE, YEAA"... "WE GOT SO MUCH COMMON"

yea, i know this is heralding some new style of stalking

but guys, stalking is only stalking if the person your stalking finds out your stalking him/her

haha, everyone is probably already doing this anyway

just be careful though, as you spam "older posts" to find out more about them, do not accidentally like one of their statuses that was mentioned years ago, that is bound to scare them

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