childhood achievements

hello fwends

i wasn't really a special child

even at primary school, i wasnt the star student

nor did i get amazing grades or win any contests

but despite my lack of accolades, i still did achieve certain things

and i gotta admit, i am kinda proud of them

so here we go~

a) one time at bandcamp, i mean school, my mum was driving me back and i really needed to take a shit. so i took a dump in the car and for the duration of the ride i had to stand up in order to not crush teh poo poo

b) one time i was sitting on the table with some other peeps and i felt like vomiting. so i vomited around roughly 5 liters of vagina syrup all across the table and i remember all the kids freaking out and trying to move their lunchboxes before my pool of vomit could get to it,

it was like a freaking tsunami, everyone was shrieking. all the meanwhile im just there attempting to look non-chalant

c) during show and tell, i was standing in the line to show off my first pube when i really needed to go to the toilet however i was too scared to ask my teacher for permission. and back in those days whenever we went to the toilet we had to take a partner. and my partner had no qualms on peeing all over my pants or clashng wands. so anyways i peed and the line of urine went down my pants and came out of the top part of my shoe and the kid sitting at my feet stared at the trail for a while then licked the juice

d) i didnt know how to grip a pencil for a long time so my teacher would attempt to rectify this problem through stickytaping the shit out of my hand onto the pencil. at the end of the day she forgot to take it off so i went home holding a pencil and i found it really hard to piss later on

e) when i lured five female grade twos to the toilets and showed off my pen license. as well as my pen.

what happened next is for me to know and you to find out.

f) in year 10 English, the fire alarm rang and i started screaming and toppling down tables and throwing shit at the fans, lol wait i wasnt a child back then

i miss being a kid, kids literally dont give a shit about what people think of them

as we get older we start to stay well within the constraints of our comfort zone as we are too scared to venture out in the unknown due to the fear of what people would say.

i guess it does help that the fact that "being a kid" can justify a multitude of frivolities but still

too many people dont do the things they want to because apparently "being an adult" is just tooooo cool.