harry fucking potter

hey girls

i watched harry potter today

and despite the fact that it got a 91 percent fresh rating for rotten tomatoes and the fact that tons of people said it was epic, it just didnt cut it for me, i really tried to enjoy it, i really did but in the end i stared in disbelief when members of the audience clapped when the credits rolled down

first of all, ill begin with some of the things that harry potter did kind of well

1. snapes acting

2. the terracotta warriors

3. emma watson's smile

4. dean thomas' manliness

5. the awkward hug beween voldemort and draco

apart from those meagre factors, the movie in general was horrible

im going to begin by questioning the style of warfare that would occur between people that can do magic

the wand is effectively a long range weapon, a spell can pretty much get from one side of the world to another

so why the fuck do the death eaters insist on charging at hogwarts

cant they just fucking artillery fire the shit out of it until everyone dies

later on in the courtyard area, the death eaters and the students are literally casting spells at each other from mere metres away, if they are that close they might as well pull out their dick and wave it around

its like using a sniper rifle against someone thats right in front of you, its just stupid

next, the wizards and witches all practically have an instant killing spell, the wand is basically a gun, bazooka, every fucking thing imaginable in one, the avocado kedavara spell cannot be blocked and is supposed to kill the person instantly,

then why the fuck do the duels last ages, shouldnt they last a second

can't the death eaters all simultaneously cast a killing spell and watch the bodies fall over?

no,, that just wouldnt be aesthetically appealing,

and what about the sword of gryffindor, it looks like a fruitcaking cheap 2 dollar prop from my fucking arsecrack

it looks so bad

you know if i was a wizard, i would just steal other people's wands, i would tie like 10 wands together

thus, when i say stupefy, it comes out of ten wards simultaneously..

did anyone think about that

huh?

and during the interlude, after the first battle, just before harry goes into the forbidden forest

why the fuck are people standing around looking mopey

if i was one of those students, i would seize the opportunity to fuck cho chang at dumbeldores office

( much to the delight of alll the moving paintings)

in fact id just be like okay fuck this, there are literally 300 death eaters, its quite amazing we got this far, lets cut our losses, ride a broom to hogsmede, hire a room and get it on

and also what i found incredibly daunting was that in the harry potter film there are tons of students whom are killed by death eaters, they are lying spreadeagled and scattered across hogwarts, that was rather eerie as it drew comparisons to the norway incident that occurred several days ago in where 80+ children were murdered. I have seen the photos of their bodies littered across the island and they practically mirrored the events which occurred in the film.

anyways the movie was a really big disappointment

and btw i want to marry emma watson

it really disheartens me that the harry potter films did not do justice to JK ROWLING'S literary masterpiece

"harry potter and the deathly hallows?"

more like "harry potter and the waste of time that should show more of emma watson!"